Darlene’s my girlfriend.
It didn’t fit. One failed date and a few kisses did not a girlfriend make. We hadn’t even slept together, yet I felt closer to her than I’d ever had to a woman; my feelings for her ran so deep they scared me. But she wasn’t my girlfriend. The word was both too strong and not enough at the same time.
“Darlene is someone special,” I said.
“Oh God, say no more,” the woman said. “I was hoping I’d caught you early, but the way your entire face changed when you said her name…” She shook her head with a rueful sigh. “I’m too late.”
She shouldered her purse and let the doors close, giving me a little knowing smirk and a small wiggle of her fingers goodbye.
The shiny silver doors shut, leaving me to stare at my own reflection. A blurred face of exhaustion, and a smile that I hadn’t realized I’d been wearing.
I’d planned to take the bus back in the morning in the event the test ran late, but as I got back to my hotel room, I was torn. My exhausted brain cried out for sleep, while my heart demanded I jump on the next bus back to Olivia and Darlene.
I picked up my phone and punched in Darlene’s number.
“Hi,” she said softly when she picked up. “Done?”
“Yeah, I’m done,” I said. I hadn’t called her or Jackson while in Sacramento in an effort to stay focused. In two syllables, how much I missed her came roaring back.
“How do you think it went?” she asked.
“I did my best,” I said, and a ragged breath gusted out of me. I lay back against the pillows on the bed as one part of the tremendous pressure I’d been carrying, lifted off. “Yeah,” I said, wiping my eyes in the crook of my elbow. “I did my best for Olivia. And for you. For us. Whatever we are after the hearing on Friday.”
“Oh, Sawyer,” she said, her own voice tremulous. “I’m proud of you. And I know someone else who is proud of you too. Want to say hello to Olivia?”
I sat up. “She’s there? Where are you?”
“I’m at your place. I’ve been staying here the past couple of days with Olivia. And the Abbotts.”
“You have?” I shook my head. “What…why? What’s happening?”
“Olivia missed you too much. Being here in her home has helped. And being with me has helped too,” she added in a small voice. “It’s kind of a
mazing, but this little human likes being with me. I feel…honored, if that makes any sense.”
I had to clench my jaw for a moment. “It makes perfect sense,” I said, gruffly. I swallowed hard, and took a breath. “But…the Abbotts? They’re there?”
“They’ve been camping out on your sofa, and that lady, Jill, from CPS, pops in and out to make sure everything’s kosher. I hope that’s okay.”
“I…don’t know what to think,” I said. “But it feels like that’s a good thing. Is it?” A sudden, genuine laugh of happiness burst out of me. “Holy shit, Darlene, what have you done?”
She laughed too with happy tears. “I don’t know, Sawyer, but I’m just trying to be as positive about this whole situation as I can. Because the universe is listening.”
“And it will answer,” I murmured. “Jackson told me that once. Or maybe it was Henrietta.”
“Yep. He told me the same the other day, and I think he’s right.” Darlene’s sigh gusted over the line and when she spoke again, her voice was cheerful and strong. “Olivia wants to say hi to you now.”
“Okay,” I whispered, and heard Darlene calling Olivia to her.
“You want to say hi to Daddy?”
A muffled sound came and then I heard little breaths. I could see it so clearly; Darlene holding the phone to Olivia and my little girl not having any idea what to do.
“Hi, honey,” I said, my voice thick. “It’s Daddy.”
“Daddy?” Olivia said, and my goddamn heart cracked in two. “Where Daddy?”
“I’m right here, honey, and I’ll be home soon.”