“You’re the sweetest.” Mom hugged me, her body so perilously thin and frail in my arms, I feared I’d break her. “Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Are you happy?”
I scoffed lightly. “How could I be?”
“I don’t mean about me. I mean everywhere else in your life. Are you happy? It’s your senior year…”
“Yeah, it’s going great. All five days of it so far.”
“Smartass.”
“Better than being a dumbass.”
“True.” Mom’s smile softened. “I just worry sometimes. Your father is so earnest and single-minded when it comes to your future—a life in the spotlight few people experience. But it doesn’t mean squat if it’s not what you want.”
“It’s not as simple as that. What I want…”
“Yes?” She leaned forward. “You can tell me anything. Especially now. Not to pull the cancer card, but…”
I snorted a laugh, but it faded quickly. “We’ve both been working toward this for years. If I suddenly wanted something else, it’d break his heart.”
“Do you want something else?”
I thought a
bout how to answer and realized I had no idea how. What would I do if I didn’t play football? Would working at the shop be enough?
“I don’t know,” I said finally.
“What about your heart?”
“What about it?”
She laughed lightly. “You do have one.”
“Not sure what you want me to say,” I said. “It’s…there.”
“That’s just it. It should be more than there. Your heart should be beating and alive and full of all the things that make you happy. More than anything, I just want to see you happy.”
“Don’t know about that right now, Mom. There’s a lot going on.”
“I know. But keep your heart open. That’s all I ask. And please don’t force anything on my behalf. I was just curious if there might be anyone special.”
Holden’s maddeningly, frustratingly perfect face rose up in my mind.
“Violet,” I blurted.
“My Violet? You haven’t mentioned her lately, so I thought—”
“Yeah, and actually, I have some news. I think I heard her car pull up. Hold on.”
I strode to the door quickly, determined to put an end to the turmoil and confusion. To set my life back on the track it’d been on since I could hold a football.
I threw open Mom’s door and nearly crashed into Violet herself. She gave a little cry of surprise.
“Shit, sorry I scared you,” I said, demanding my senses to take in her feminine beauty and make it mean something. Anything.