I didn’t say anything. They didn’t get it. Yes, I stuck with Amber because—like an asshole—I’d let her go down on me at Homecoming. Other guys might have ghosted her by now, but I wasn’t like that. Amber was a human being who deserved to not be treated as if she were disposable.
Moreover, I’d talked myself into wanting to date her. She was sweet, smart, and beautiful—like an unpolished Cara Delevingne, with long blond hair and thick eyebrows. I hung out with her because I kept thinking this night, or this date would be the one where the spark ignited and caught fire, and I could finally get over Violet.
But the spark never caught, physically or emotionally. My stubborn heart refused to let go of Violet. I knew it never would.
“You’re right,” I admitted. “I just…” I stopped, glancing around. Students were huddled in their usual clusters before first bell, but now they were all watching us, talking behind their hands, and smiling. Girls offered flirty little waves. Guys tilted their head in greeting.
“What the hell is this?” I looked to Ronan. “You?”
He shrugged. “I just got off another suspension.”
His fourth. Ronan and Vice Principal Chouder had a relationship modeled after Bender and Mr. Vernon from The Breakfast Club. Ronan spent more time in detention or suspended than he did in a classroom.
“You spray-painted rapist on Mikey Grimaldi’s brand-new Jeep Rubicon,” I said. “Most girls consider you a hero. This could be for you.”
“They don’t know that I did it,” Ronan said, “and that’s not what I got suspended for.”
Holden shot me a commiserating glance. “I know, I can’t keep up with his vigilantism either.” He gestured at the crowd with a flourish. “This, my friend, is for you. Your performance at the winter Talent Show, perhaps?”
Holden and Amber had pestered me to enter the school’s annual talent show so relentlessly that I did it more to shut them up than anything. Plus, I figured I needed the practice of performing in front of a crowd. I thought I’d be scared shitless, but it was easy. Perfect. The stage was where I wanted to be. It felt like home. Safer than the one I actually had.
“That was months ago,” I said. “This is some new shit.”
We crossed the quad and took a seat on the cement wall that separated the lower level of the school with the upper. Stares, waves, and murmurs followed.
“Quite the mystery,” Holden said, leaning casually against the wall, one hand in the pocket of his long tweed coat, despite the fact that spring was rapidly approaching.
Ronan put one booted foot up onto the ledge and rested his elbow on his knee. “Maybe Miller finally fucked Amber, and she’s told the school about his magical, giant dick.”
Holden’s eyes widened. “How do you know his dick is magical and-or giant? Are you two holding out on me?”
“Can you both stop talking about my dick?” I snapped. “And no, that’s not it. We haven’t… Never mind.”
Holden sighed. “Still stuck on aggressive cuddling, are we? What are you waiting for?”
“Violet,” Ronan said.
I didn’t bother to argue. “Amber’s getting fed up with me. Can’t blame her.”
“You tried,” Holden said. “You served your blowjob-mandated sentence, but I hereby grant you early release for good behavior.”
“Dump her,” Ronan said.
“Or what he said.”
I snorted a laugh at my friends as Evelyn Gonzalez approached. She wore a short, tight skirt, breast-hugging T-shirt, and her long black hair flowed in waves over her small, lithe stature. I took inventory of her assets with the same enthusiasm I used to take inventory of the prizes at the arcade. She was another beautiful girl in a school of beautiful girls that my heart—and aforementioned “magical” dick—didn’t give a crap about.
Including my own girlfriend.
“Ah ha! Answers,” Holden said as Evelyn joined us. “Miss TMZ, do you know why the entire school is making eyes at our Miller?”
“Maybe,” she said, a mischievous glint in her dark eyes under cat-eye liner. “Now shoo. I need to talk to my Miller, alone.”
“This is our spot,” Ronan intoned.
“Fine. Miller, can we go somewhere private?”
“Sure,” I said and hopped down off the wall.