“Honorable to a fault,” Holden said. “You’re the best of us, Miller.”
“If that’s true, you need to set the bar higher,” I muttered. “I just…miss her, you know? I miss hanging out with her. Talking to her. She was my best friend before you guys, and I don’t want to lose her.”
“And Amber?”
I shrugged. “Something could happen there, but I won’t know if I don’t cut Violet loose.” I swallowed a jagged lump of pain and forced myself to say the words out loud. “She doesn’t love me. Not like the way I do. Time to get over it.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Holden said. “Except for one tiny detail.”
“And that is?”
“You look fucking miserable,” Ronan said.
Holden grinned in wide-eyed surprise. “So astute! Our Ronan truly is a big softy under all that brutish muscle and glower.”
Ronan flipped him the finger.
“How about this?” Holden slung his arm around my neck. “You and Dr. Phil, here, shoot darts. If Ronan pops more balloons than you, you tell Violet the truth. If you pop more, you can continue to wallow in your honorable misery forever, and we’ll leave you alone about it.”
“That’s dumb. And Ronan is going to win. He always does.”
Ronan held out his hand. “Flask.”
“Ah yes. A little handicap.” Holden turned over his flask, and Ronan tipped it up, downing the entire thing in a matter of seconds.
“That’s about four ounces of Ducasse, the Everclear of expensive vodka.” Holden chucked Ronan on the back. “How you feeling, champ?”
Ronan’s eyes watered, and he blew air out of puffed cheeks. “Better.”
Holden smiled, satisfied. “Evened the odds. Right now, our buddy couldn’t find his own reflection in a mirror.”
Truly, Ronan looked shitfaced, swaying slightly, while Holden produced a wad of cash.
“Six darts, my good man.”
The carny laid them out.
“Miller’s up first, and no cheating. Honor demands you try to win.”
“This is ridiculous,” I muttered.
I took up my three darts. I missed the first, then hit the second two.
Ronan took his darts and blearily stared at the balloon targets in front of him. Then his eyes suddenly focused, and he shot all three, one after the other, rapid fire. Three balloons popped.
“Fucking hell.”
“A deal is a deal,” Holden said through loud laughter. “Take your prize… Take this cheap SpongeBob SquarePants key chain to Lady Violet as a token of your love.”
I gave my friends the stink eye. Holden grinning. Happy. His eyes clear instead of racing with thoughts or drowning in booze. Ronan wasn’t falling-down-drunk like he’d looked a second ago, but was laughing too. Silent chuckles that shook his shoulders.
I bit back my own smile and hurled the plush toy at their heads.
“Assholes.”
Game or no game, I wasn’t about to confess a damn thing to Violet. I’d been a dick to her, ignoring her and making her feel like shit. I was like that guy in that Christmas movie Mom watched every year—he was in love with Keira Knightly who was fucking married. Violet kissing River wasn’t quite the same thing, but it may as well have been. I’d been holding out for four years, hoping to be Violet’s first…everything.
And someone else got there first.