Dominic opened and closed his mouth a few times, making it obvious that it hadn’t even crossed his mind. I’d been taking care of his daughter for three years, and it didn’t occur to him that I might be able to make the whole thing smoother for them both.
“Madison, I-”
“What? I’m not good enough to look after her anymore? I haven’t done enough, I haven’t kept this flat perfect for you, and done everything for Tilly every time you’ve been away?”
“No, it’s not that. God, you’ve been amazing, you’ve taken care of everything, and Tilly loves you, but I didn’t even think to ask you to move to New York. Not for us. It wouldn’t be fair.”
“Maybe you should worry more about what’s fair for Tilly than for me. Are you even allowed to move her out of the country without her mother’s permission? I know she doesn’t have any part of Tilly’s life, but-”
“I found her,” Dominic interrupted.
I halted my ramble and sat up straight. “You did?”
He nodded. “If I’m making this move, I want to do it right. I talked to my lawyer, he tracked her down, and I met up with her.”
“Jesus Christ,” I said, hopping down from the stool, and starting to pace. My head swam with all the revelations. “Before you finish explaining this episode of ‘Dominic Hartley’s Secret Life,’ is there anything else you’ve been hiding?”
“No. And I didn’t tell you for the same reason I didn’t tell you everything else. It wasn’t the right time.”
“Did you talk to anyone about it? Your mum, your brother?”
“No. I just dealt with it on my own.”
If I hadn’t been so far away on the other side of the room, I’d have slapped him. Hard. Why did he think he had to do everything alone?
“What happened when you saw her?” I asked.
“Well, I drove up to Manchester, where she lives, and we went for a coffee. I told her about the new job, and she said she was happy for us to go.”
“Did she even ask about Tilly?”
“No. I tried to tell her but she wasn’t interested. She had another baby. She made it clear that she wants nothing to do with Tilly now she has her new family.”
Sickness churned in my stomach at the idea of a mother being so completely uncaring towards her own child. Tilly deserved so much better. Dominic’s jaw tensed the way it always did when he was upset or angry. I was sure he was more pissed off than upset. His grieving for his marriage was done a long time ago, but he’d never stop hurting for Tilly because she’d been denied a mother.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That she didn’t care, I mean.”
He nodded. “Me too. The good news is, seeing her meant we could finally get the divorce sorted out. Another thing that’s being taken care of.”
The spinning cycle of emotions had made me tired. Being infuriated really takes it out of you, but when you threw in sadness, regret, fear and confusion, it was too much. I’d woken up that morning, excited because I had a weekend ahead of me that promised to be full of laughs and drinking. Less than twenty-four hours later, my heart felt heavy because everything I knew was about to be taken away.
“I need to go to bed,” I said.
“There’s still more to talk about.”
“You’re probably right, but I can’t.”
“Please,” he said. “I don’t want to leave things this way.”
“What way?”
“Not knowing what you think. Not knowing if I can count on you to be here until we leave.”
“Do you honestly think I’d leave Tilly a second sooner than I have to? I’m not going anywhere. And as for what I think … you know that.”
“You think I’m selfish,” Dominic said. “You think I’m doing all of this for myself.”
“I think you put your need to be successful ahead of Tilly’s needs. And I think that’s unfair of you.”