“What will happen to me?” Jayden asked, his voice still quiet, scared. “That’s what they were talking about. Where will I live?”
“I don’t know that either. James and Radleigh have to talk about it and see what they think is better.”
“I want to be near my mommy.”
My heart ached for this little boy who was still clinging on to me as if I was the only safe place he had. Maybe I was for the time being, since his two fathers were currently battling over who got to keep him.
What made me more sad for him was how much he loved Jen. In spite of her using him as a bargaining chip – which he was too young to understand – and her not giving him much of a childhood because she was too busy dragging him around to her social events, Jayden worshipped her. And whatever happened, he was going to need a long time to recover from this.
“Sweetheart, I don’t know where your mummy will be, or how long she’ll be there. But…” I trailed off. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that she wouldn’t be home for a while. Even if she somehow managed to be found not guilty, there would surely be a trial at some point, and they could take a while to happen. I truly had no clue because the only thing of any importance to me had been making sure Radleigh was getting better. Soon, we’d have to face up to the realities of what had happened, and what was to come, but that time hadn’t come yet. And I had nothing comforting to tell Jayden.
“I like it here,” Jayden said, after a while. “I like Radleigh and you and Nanna and Grandad. And I like my little sister.” I smiled, even though he couldn’t see me since his head was still resting on my shoulder. “But at my apartment… in New York… I would miss my brother and James if I wasn’t there.”
“If you lived here with Radleigh and me and Jessica, you could still visit James and Harley.”
“If I live in New York, can I visit you?”
“Of course you can, my darling. Whatever happens, you’ll still be able to see everyone, it just means you’ll see some people more often than others.”
“It takes a long time on the aeroplane to come here.”
“Yes. But we can make it work.”
He looked up at me, his eyes red-rimmed, and my heart twisted again. “I want to stay with James. But I don’t want Radleigh to be upset with me.”
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought that might be his choice – if he was allowed one. I still wasn’t su
re of that. Radleigh could still pull rank, but somehow, I doubted he would. Not when it was about Jayden’s happiness. No matter how much Jayden enjoyed his time with Radleigh, a move to L.A after losing his mother was a step too far. James was the one he knew the best, and he also had a little brother he was close to. If it came down to it, sure, he would have settled in with us just fine, but he needed to be where he felt the most comfortable. New York was home to him.
“He won’t be upset with you, Jay,” I told him gently.
“Really?”
“I promise. Shall we eat our doughnuts, then go tell James and Radleigh what you want to do?” I placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
Jayden nodded. “Okay.”
Apprehension built in me as we ate our snacks, because based on the last things Radleigh and I had said to each other, I figured he might assume I’d talked Jayden into his decision. But whatever Radleigh felt was based mostly on disappointment and ego. He didn’t want to think his son would prefer to live elsewhere, nor did he want to let him go when he’d only just found him. Deep down, though, I knew he would be okay with it. He knew Jayden’s needs were more important than his own.
It went much more smoothly than I anticipated, because when Jayden and I walked back into Radleigh’s room, there was a weird silence, but James’ whole frame had loosened up. His face still looked kind of haggard, and I could see he’d been crying.
But Radleigh had already made the decision. I knew it. I knew it from the sadness buried deep in his blue eyes, masked by the relief of knowing he’d done the right thing.
“Are you both okay?” I asked, as Jayden and I stood by the door.
Radleigh nodded, and James blew out a slow breath. I led Jayden back to James. James scooped him up and hugged him tight, and I sat down on the bed beside Radleigh. He reached for my hand, letting me know he wasn’t still mad at me, and I squeezed his hand gently.
“How would you like to go home tomorrow?” James asked Jayden.
The smile on Jayden’s face told us all we needed to know. “I would like that a lot!”
James’ eyes shone with warmth as he grinned. “Okay. We’ll go see your nanna and grandad later, then we’ll get Harley and go to the beach. And tomorrow, we’ll come back and see Radleigh, Leah and Jessica, and then I’ll take you and Harley home. Sound good?”
Jayden nodded, still beaming.
James looked over at Radleigh and me. “Thank you. Thank you both for everything. I’ll take good care of him.”
“We know,” I said, softly.