Smiling softly, I said, “I’ll do what I can. But also… I don’t want to seem like I’m interfering. For the most part, these decisions are down to you and Jen. I wouldn’t want her meddling in Jessica’s life, so I need to respect that there are some things I might not get a say in.”
Radleigh let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulders. “There’s very little you won’t get a say in. He’s my son, but when he’s here, he’ll be part of our family. Mine and yours.”
“I know. I’m just saying, things like schools… they’re decisions I don’t really get any say in.”
“Well… if you did have a say, what would you want for him?”
I shifted my eyes back to the children again, watching as Jayden patted the sand down in the bucket with the spade, while Jessica pressed on it with her hands. “I don’t know. He seems pretty bright. Whatever education he’s having, it’s working. He’s very good with conversation too.”
“He is. But he’s around adults a lot. He doesn’t have many friends in New York. Any other kids he knows are from Jen’s circle of friends, which means he’s never really had a chance to choose his friends for himself. He’d be able to do that if he was in regular school. I think it would be better for him to be in a good school.”
“I think you’re right. How do you feel about Jayden living in New York again?”
“Not gonna lie, I’d like it better if he was here. I’ve loved spending all this time with him, and I’ll miss him when they go. But I also know it’s rough on James to have his boys taken away. And even if Jayden is mine, James is the one who’s raised him so far. So, if it’s better for him to be in New York, that’s where I want him to be.”
Resting my head against Radleigh’s shoulder, I sighed. Tough decisions like this weren’t what we had in our plans. Our wedding. That was it. That was the only thing we were supposed to worry about. Life didn’t give a crap about our plans, though. This enormous child-shaped curveball wasn’t the worst thing in the world. The Jen-shaped one was a lot more hassle, but the two came as a package, unfortunately. Radleigh’s thoughts about where Jayden needed to be matched mine. As little as I wanted Jen around, if being in Los Angeles was better for Jayden, then I’d go with it. If New York was better? Well, so be it. It would just mean we’d have to take trips to New York now and again, and during school holidays, Jayden could stay with us.
“I’ve been thinking about the wedding,” Radleigh said. “How would you feel if Jayden was a part of it?”
I raised my head to look at him. “Do you mean at the wedding? Or in it like Jessica?”
“In it.”
“Would Jen have to come?”
Radleigh shook his head. “Jen could drop him off at my parents’ place, and you wouldn’t have to see her.”
The hope in his eyes made me smile. “You’ve really thought this through, huh?”
“Yeah. I want him to be a part of this, Leah.”
“Me too.”
After a full morning with Jayden, I was in love. Completely smitten with the little cutie who had played so well with Jessica, and run around the garden kicking a ball with Radleigh, and very politely thanked me for making him lunch and asked if he could come back again soon. He was adorable, and I was sad he would be leaving at the end of the week because it was unlikely he’d get a chance to come back and use the pool for a while.
It baffled me how someone as screwed up as Jen had managed to raise a kid as sweet as Jayden.
After Jayden left that day, a weight had lifted from Radleigh and me. I hadn’t really been fully aware what that weight had represented, just that things hadn’t quite sunk back into place for us yet. I’d assumed it was about Jen and the enormous amount of strain we’d been under – and that was definitely a factor – but we hadn’t considered the added pressure that came from trying to fit another child into our family would cause so much tension. Now I’d met him and we’d all gotten along so well, another bubble of stress burst and dissolved into the atmosphere.
Radleigh and I took Jessica out to a nearby park where we talked some more about Jayden and the wedding, and just every day stuff that we hadn’t talked about in a while.
Later, after we’d put Jessica to bed and I’d once again changed into my favourite oversized hoodie after showering, I sat on the floor in the living room, flicking through Bree’s wedding folder and perusing bridesmaids’ dresses again. We still hadn’t chosen. Plus there was the brand new burden of me having to find another wedding dress. I hadn’t picked out outfits for Jamie and Jayden yet, either. And the cake. I still hadn’t ordered the cake.
So much to do, so little time.
“Hey.”
I turned around as Radleigh walked into the living room carrying two plates of gooey chocolate cake with forks sticking out of the top of them. He’d also just showered, and instead of getting fully dressed, he’d just put some jeans on – no shirt.
Butterflies began to take flight in my stomach. Is there anything better than a tattooed man and chocolate cake? I smiled as he sat down beside me and put the plates on the table in front of us. I closed the wedding folder and moved it aside – Bree would kill me if I got it dirty.
“Where did you get the cake?” I asked, and he laughed.
“I did some stealthy cake shopping while you weren’t paying attention earlier. Hid it in the stroller.”
“And what did I do to deserve this?”
Radleigh’s grin made the butterflies in my stomach flap harder. “Today? You were incredible with Jayden. And every other day? You…” he paused. “You know what? I’m saving that for the wedding.”