“So, you want to worm your way back in so you can do it all over again? You know you don’t deserve another chance with her. Not after what you did. You broke her into a million tiny little pieces and I was the one who had to put her back together.”
“Believe me, I know that. I watched it all from a distance. I saw her hurting every day and it’s killed me knowing that I did that to her.”
“Then why come back? She was doing better. Hell, she even started dating again.”
“Yeah,” he scoffs. “We all know how well that went.”
I roll my eyes. It’s not exactly something I want to remember either.
“Look,” he continues. “Facts are that no matter what, I love her. I always have and I always will. I know that I don’t deserve to have another chance, and hell, I’m fucking lucky that she’s even giving me a shot to be in her life right now.”
“You want to know my intentions?” he continues. “Well, here they are. I want her back. I want to love her right and I want to love her more. I want to be consumed by her. Everything she does, I want to be a part of. Now, I’m no fool. I know there’s a very good chance she’ll never let me in like that again, but for now, I’m just happy being around her. If she decides later on down the track that she can forgive me and consider a future with me, then that’s amazing. If not, then she’ll know that I’ll always be right here, loving and supporting her. No matter what.” Maxen pauses a second and watches me. “Does that answer all your questions.”
I think it over for a minute. “Say she comes around and allows you to try again, how do we know that you won’t hurt her again? I doubt she could just trust you after that.”
“I guess that’s something you don’t know. Only I know that I will never do it again and that’s something you’ll have to learn to trust. I’ve learned the hard way and lost the woman I loved over foolish shit and I’m not prepared to do it again. I want to fight for her and I want to prove to her that she can love and trust me again. I want to have babies with her. I want my ring on her finger. I want it all, I just have to get her to see that first.”
“You know there’s a chance that she doesn’t feel that way about you anymore.”
“Really?” he scoffs. “You see the way she looks at me just as clear as I see the way you look at Nate. She loves me just the same as the first day we got together, that’s the one thing I can always count on. But you’re right. there’s a chance she won’t give me the time of day after finding out that I want her back. She might not be willing to risk letting me in again.”
I shake my head at him. “I don’t like it.”
“I know,” he says. “If I was in your position, I wouldn’t like it either.”
“You’ve really changed, haven’t you?”
“I don’t think I’ve changed,” he tells me, considering my question. “I’m still the same person, I still make stupid mistakes, but I like to think I’ve grown up. Things that I would have done last year aren’t exactly things that I’d consider doing now. I want to make something of myself and I want Brooke there, by my side. I’m my best self when she’s around and I want to be that for her, even if it means watching all those bullshit shows she likes.”
“Shit,” I sigh. “I should have kicked you in the nuts harder last year. She’s not going to be able to resist that gooey crap your spouting.”
A throat clears behind me and we both jump before spinning around to find Brooke leaning against the wall at the opening of the hallway with watery eyes. Maxen goes white. “Fuck,” he panics. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Since the words ‘hit me with it’,” she tells him.
I think back and realize those were the words the first said and that she’s heard the entire conversation. I try to pull her attention away. “Are you ok?”
She doesn’t respond, just looks back at Max before slowly walking forward. She comes around the front of the couch so she can face him front on. Not a flicker of emotion crosses her face, the only sign that this means anything to her is the watery eyes, though I can’t tell if it’s a good watery or a bad watery.
She steps forward, placing herself right in front him before she drops down and straddles his thighs. Maxen’s hands instantly take her waist and I watch as his thumb rubs back and forth over her skin. She watches him for a second, both remaining silent, the only sound throughout the house are their shallow, nervous breaths mixed with my impatient ones.