“Relax, Bree. I do know that. I’m more worried about you and Jude. You told me things weren’t so great between you. I didn’t realise they were so bad you had to turn to Taylor.”
“I didn’t turn to her. Not deliberately, anyway. You know how I am. When I need to talk-”
“You need to talk,” he finished, and his lips turned up into a full smile.
My chest ached because right then, when he was so in sync with me and my thoughts, I felt more for him than I ever intended. It had grown slowly, and it wasn’t love but if things were different. Maybe.
A tear dripped down my cheek, splashing down onto my jeans.
Oh great.
“I’m so dumb.” More tears rained down my cheeks. “I should have stayed away from her. I should have listened to the voice inside me telling me to shut up as soon as I opened my mouth in front of her. Sometimes I… I don’t know where I fit. I love Leah and Freya like sisters but I don’t want to bug Leah while she’s settling in with Radleigh, and now she’s pregnant. She doesn’t need to deal with my drama. And Freya is so happy with Will, I feel like I’ll drag her down if I talk to her. And also, even though they’re not that much older than me, sometimes I feel so naïve. Leah has been through so much in her life, and-”
“So have you. You’ve experienced a lot of stuff most people don’t.”
“And I’m still dumb.”
Jesse put his finger under my chin and tilted my face up. “You’re not dumb or naïve, sunshine. You’re sweet. You’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met and Jude’s lucky to have you.”
My insides shrivelled a little more at his words. “Taylor wasn’t lying about everything, Jesse.”
A wrinkle creased his forehead. “What do you mean?”
The sounds of the rain and the thunder faded away. My heartbeat was all I heard. Breathing shallow, thoughts jumbled, I didn’t know what to say next.
I leaned in towards him but before my lips touched his, he moved back. I halted, too freaked out to move.
Did I really do that? From the way I was still leaning forward, eyes closed like a desperate kid waiting for a kiss during a game of Spin The Bottle, the answer was obviously yes.
“Oh God.” I opened my eyes and backed away.
The wide-eyed shock on his face sent blood racing through my veins until I got dizzy. How could I be so stupid? What the hell did I think would happen? I was a married woman, and he loved his English girl.
I practically fell backwards off the bed in my hurry to get away from him. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled, trying to find my footing and crashing into his bookshelf in the process. My elbow bumped right into the wooden corner, bringing tears of a different kind to my eyes.
Jesse straightened up, panicked. “Bree, wait.”
“No, I gotta go.”
“You can’t go out in the storm, it’s too dangerous.” He reached out to me. “Please. Sit down and talk to me.”
Crap. The weather. I couldn’t stay after what I tried to do. I mean, I practically pounced on him in his own bedroom after his family had kindly let me stay at their house until the storm blew over.
“No, I can’t stay. I’m sorry.”
I ran out of Jesse’s room even though I heard him calling me back. I sped down the stairs, quickly slipping into my shoes, and grabbing my coat without putting it on.
The rain and wind hit me hard, pushing me back against the Shaw’s front door and reminding me why I was supposed to stay inside. How could I go back, though?
I pushed against the wind, stumbling a few times, and jumping at every lightning flash until I got to the car and shut myself inside, soaked to the skin.
Can I stay here? Right here in the car where it’s warm, without having to drive anywhere?
Rolling my still crying eyes, I let out a huge sigh. Lurking made me as bad as Taylor.
Speaking of which. Through the tiniest gaps between the raindrops on the window I saw the blurred outline of a pale blue Miata. Opening the window a crack confirmed it was Taylor’s car. Outside Jesse’s house. During a storm. Was she hoping to see him, or waiting for the fallout from what she did?
Without a thought, I clambered out of my car and ran across the street, again getting hit by fast-flying leaves and pounding rain that hurt my skin, and hammered on the window.