Hurt seeps into my heart as a deep regret appears in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs into the quiet hallway. I continue walking up the stairs and pass him to walk into my room, somehow managing not to reach out and touch him. He follows behind me and gently closes the door to give us a bit of privacy from my mother, who no doubt is trying her hardest to hear our conversation from downstairs. “I didn’t know you were going to be there.”
I turn on him. “And that makes it ok?”
“No,” he says. “Of course not, but if I knew you were going to be there, I would have done it somewhere else. I know what it looked like and I’m sure it wasn’t easy to see.”
I scoff as I watch him. “Are you kidding me? Your big plan is to make her think she’s got you back? Let me guess, you’re going to dump her again? Make her hurt like she did to us.”
“No,” he scoffs. “My plan is to destroy her like she nearly did to us.”
“And how the hell are you going to do that?”
Nate shakes his head, not prepared to tell me his big plan. He walks into me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his hard chest. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I stopped by the shop to find your Ben & Jerry’s, but they didn’t have the kind you liked, so I got the guy to write me a note.”
“You’re an idiot,” I murmur into his chest.
He lets out a deep breath and rubs his fingers down the length of my hair and back. “Just know that for this plan to work, Ashley needs to think she’s on top.” I curl my head in under his chin as I think over his words, only it’s not sitting right with me. “If there was another way, I’d be doing it. It killed me not going to you at Carters but if she saw us, she’d know I was planning something.”
I pull back out of his arms and study his face. “You mean, this plan is the reason we’re not together?” I ask in confusion. “For her to think she’s on top, she has to be with you. The girl you’re with has always been the girl on top. That’s the way it’s always been.”
“I’m not going to date her, babe,” he says. “I could hardly stand being near her today. I just need people to see us together a few times. Trust me, she’ll do the rest herself and when she does, I’m going to destroy her.”
“So… I’ll just continue looking like your pathetic ex-girlfriend through all this?”
“Tora,” he sighs as guilt seeps over his beautiful features.
He steps towards me again and I hold my hand out stopping him. “No, don’t,” I demand as the anger overtakes me. “You lied to me. You told me the reason we can’t be together is because of my bullshit future that you’re trying to protect. You said nothing about Ashley Samuels being the reason you refuse to be with me.”
“I didn’t lie to you,” he demands. “I am trying to protect your future.”
“No, you’re trying to get your stupid payback by using my heart in your twisted games. I don’t accept it, Nate. Find another way to get back at her. She tried to keep us apart by burning us alive and you’re giving her exactly what she wants by not being with me now. How is that fair to me? To us?”
“It’s not like that,” he says. “You’re not-”
I cut him off as I shake my head. “You’re Nate Ryder. Revenge is your thing. Either find another way or we’re through. I only just accepted that we’re not together because you want what’s best for me, even though I still think that’s bullshit, but telling me it’s because of her, that’s not ok, Nate. Find another way.”
I walk over to the door and pull it open before standing back out of the way, indicating for him to go. “Tora,” he says, begging me not to do this. “Just trust me.”
“I can’t. You’ve already hurt me and I’m not going to sit back and watch you give her the world when that’s what you promised me. Find another way, Nate. Be the man I know you are.”
His eyes search mine as he walks forward. I’ve never seen him look so confused and torn. I know he wants this. He wants to follow through on his plan. After all, he’s already set it up, but at the same time, he understands where I’m coming from and the last thing he wants is to see me get hurt.
He walks up to me and leans his head in before pressing a feather soft kiss to my cheek and walking out. I catch his wrist and pull him back, giving it one last attempt. “Please,” I beg him as I stretch up onto my tippy toes and kiss his lips. “Do this for me.”