“You’re amazing. Perfect.”
My cheeks heated and I closed my eyes. “I’m sure I’m not perfect. I… well, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.”
He stroked my flaming face with his fingers. “There’s no rule book, Luce. You do what feels right, and everything you did felt fucking incredible.”
“I thought I might… I don’t know… I probably didn’t compare to some of the other women you’ve been with.”
“You’re right. But it’s not for the reasons you’re thinking. You mean so much more.”
The words I love you lurked on my lips, but I couldn’t let them out yet, however true it was. The way he’d taken care of me told me he felt it to; we didn’t need to use the words. The slow brush of his lips on mine was enough.
More than enough.
Chapter 14 – In Sickness and in Health
Jason and I walked towards the ICU waiting room hand in hand. My insides were a mess of emotions; so happy to have Jason, to have had the first time I’d always wanted, but so deeply worried about what we’d be greeted with by our families. Oh God, would they be able to tell? Would they be able to see something in my expression that told them their little girl wasn’t so innocent anymore? I glanced down at myself, trying to check my clothes were on straight – even though I’d showered and changed, maybe they’d still be able to spot something that told them the truth. From the corner of my eye, Jason gave a small smirk.
“Relax. You look exactly the same as you did a few hours ago.”
My face flushed and I bit my lip, trying to hide my own smile – because we shouldn’t have been smiling at all. Nothing about the situation we were in was funny, and as we entered the waiting room our smiles faded. Empty. All seats were vacant, and as a nurse speed walked through, I said, “Excuse me.”
The brunette nurse stopped and turned to us, then gave a warm smile. “You’re looking for your family, right?” I nodded. “Your mom said to tell you that they’ve gone to the hotel to check in and get some rest, and that she will call you in a few hours.”
“They all left?” Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Nobody is with Drew?”
The nurse shook her head, her eyes shining with sympathy. “Drew wanted some time alone after his diagnosis, so I suggested they go freshen up.”
I glanced up at Jason. “Maybe we should come back later. If he wants to be alone…”
“Let’s just check first,” Jason said. He turned his attention back to the nurse. “Please could you ask him if he’ll see us?”
She nodded. “Sure. Wait there, I’ll be right back.”
As she left, Jason said, “This will be a lot easier now I know I don’t have to worry about Ellie screaming at me.”
I wrapped my arms around him, pressing myself into him and letting out a small sigh of sheer joy as I remembered how we’d spent our afternoon. This is actually happening. His hands on my waist made me want to reach up and kiss him, but I had to keep my focus.
Drew. We had to see Drew.
“Jase… do you mind if I see Drew on my own? It’s just… I haven’t seen him at all yet, and I know you haven’t seen him since he woke up, but-”
Jason’s lips pressed gently against mine, silencing me. “I don’t mind at all.”
Before I could slip into another blissful trance, the nurse re-entered the waiting room with a smile. “Drew’s ready to see you.”
“Thank you,” I said, before turning to Jason again. “I’ll be back soon.”
He smiled, placing another kiss on my lips and I made my way to Drew’s room.
I tentatively opened the door, and Drew slowly turned his head towards me. Like Jason, he had cuts all over his face, but that wasn’t what made me gasp. It was as if someone had turned out the light in his eyes. They were lifeless, and even when he attempted a smile, the dullness remained. In that moment, everything else that had happened slipped away. None of it mattered anymore. I blinked back tears, and Drew said, “Don’t, Lucy. I’m counting on you to be the strong one.”
Right. I could do this. I could forget how potentially awful his situation might be. I could find the strength to stop myself falling apart for him. I had to.
I nodded and quickly wiped my eyes. “I can do that. It’s just… everything.”
“I know. But I’m pretty close to losing it and I’m counting on you to hold it off.”
When he attempted another smile, I slowly walked towards him, counting to ten in my head to distract myself from how serious this was. I kept my head high, and sat beside him on the bed.