“When you get a second, thank your dad. If it wasn’t for him, I’d still be at home.”
I should have cared that my mum was well within earshot, and I didn’t want to make her feel bad for her and Dad’s initial decision, but my main concern in that moment was making sure Jason was okay.
“Have you been here the whole time?” I asked.
He nodded. “Pretty much. I have a hotel room, and Joey does too. I’ve only been there once to check in and throw my stuff down. Most of the time I’ve been here.”
“Where is Joey?”
“He’s at the hotel. He would have stayed but I told him to go get some sleep. He’ll be here later to see Drew, but he’s waiting for his parents to arrive.”
“And Drew? How…” I couldn’t finish the sentence without crying again, and Jason put his hands up to my cheeks and brushed my tears away with his thumbs.
“He’s still the same. No better, but no worse. The doctors haven’t said too much. It’s just a waiting game for now.”
I shook my head then leaned into him again and gently rested my head against his chest. “I’m so sorry about Mack. I can’t… I just can’t believe any of this has happened.”
Jason’s body turned rigid and I knew he was fighting back tears at the thought of his friend. “Me neither. I haven’t taken any of it in properly yet. I don’t think I will for a long time.”
“Jason.” Mum’s voice made us break apart, as if we were teenagers caught having a grope in my bedroom. She’d risen from her chair, and she took his hand and squeezed it gently. “How are you doing?”
“I don’t know. Just getting through an hour at a time right now. I don’t know what else to do.”
She gave him a sad smile. “I understand. Will you do something for me?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“Take Lucy back to your hotel, and both of you get some sleep.”
“Mum-”
She held up her free hand. “There’s nothing either of you can do right now. We’re all here, and if anything happens, we’ll call you right away. Jason looks like he hasn’t slept in twenty-four hours, and you’ll be no use to anyone until you get some rest. By the time you’ve had a few hours’ sleep, hopefully we’ll have a hotel sorted out, and then you can come back here and I’ll go and take a break.”
I glanced up at Jason, waiting for his response. Honestly, I was astonished she’d suggested him taking me anywhere since she’d been so against me being with him. I was certain she hadn’t changed her mind about that, but ultimately, she was still my mother and she knew that what I needed more than anything was some sleep.
“I can do that,” Jason said. “Th
ank you.”
Mum gave him a small nod before hugging me tightly. “See you later, sweetheart.”
Leaving my steaming cup of coffee at the machine, I took Jason’s hand and we left the hospital, both of us somewhat reeling from the speed at which we’d been ushered out.
Jason’s hotel was definitely an improvement on the one we’d stayed in in Paris. Derek had booked it knowing that the last thing Jason and Joey needed was a crummy place to stay with crappy services and rude staff. Derek himself was on his way to the US to be with the guys, but he was in Scotland when the crash happened and he’d had a harder time getting on a flight.
When we reached Jason’s room, the only thing we wanted to do was lie down together, and we immediately kicked off our shoes and collapsed onto the bed. Jason pulled me in as close as possible, and I draped my arm over him, letting my fingers glide slowly up and down his back.
“What happened, Jase?” I whispered.
He didn’t need to ask what I meant. “I still don’t know exactly. I was asleep when it happened. Joey was too; that’s why we got off so lightly, I think. Drew and Mack were at the back of the bus, where the main damage was done. I haven’t had time to think about how it all happened yet. Asking questions was the last thing on my mind. All I can think about is that we’ve lost Mack, and Drew is…” he trailed off and sighed. “This is how he must have felt about me, Luce. When I was in hospital, almost dead. They must have felt this way every time I landed myself in danger. And not just him, but everyone. Ellie, Dad. You.” I raised my head, shuffling back a little so I could look at him. His face had paled and his eyes were almost vacant, like he wasn’t really with me. He’d disappeared into his own thoughts as he finally understood what we’d been through. In a way, it seemed like more of a wake-up call than when he’d almost lost his own life. This was different; it was happening to someone he loved, and for the first time he felt the same emotions we’d had for him. “The only difference is, Drew didn’t deserve this. He didn’t do this to himself. Seeing him lying there, completely lifeless… it made me think about everything. The things we’ve said and done to each other. The things I wish I’d said to him.”
“You can still tell him. He’s still here.”
“I need him to wake up. I just need him to wake up.” Snapping back to the present, Jason’s eyes met mine. “I’m so sorry, Lucy. I’m sorry to all of you for the things I did. I was so selfish, and so fucking stupid.”
I pressed my hand against his face, softly stroking his cheek with my thumb, carefully avoiding the scars. “It’s okay. None of it matters now. It’s over, and you’re okay.”
Jason’s hand covered mine and he turned his head slightly, planting a kiss on my palm. “I don’t know how to handle any of this. But having you here means everything.”