I sighed and walked away from Drew without a word or another look in his direction. Each step felt like another step closer to the end of what I’d waited so long for, and my gut churned. I suspected my fate with Jason may have already been decided while I wasn’t part of the conversation. Also, I wasn’t crazy about looking him in the eye now he knew – through the powers of the damn press – that I was a virgin. I supposed he might have already figured that much out, but having it thrown out into the world in black and white was humiliating.
Jason greeted me with a tense smile as I entered the living area, but his eyes were warm, letting me know he hadn’t changed his mind about me. My muscles relaxed a little, but I knew this was far from over. I took a seat beside him, and Derek sat down on Jason’s other side.
“Lucy,” he began. “I’ve spoken with Jason about what’s happening between the two of you, and I want you to know that I’m on your side. But you have to understand that what’s happening could have a massive effect on the band, and that’s what we’re trying to limit.”
“I do understand that. I know this isn’t just about Jason and me.”
Geez, does everyone think I’m stupid?
Jason reached for my hand as Derek continued. “I need the two of you to make a decision. Not about your relationship,” he added quickly. “That is on you to sort out, but right now, for the rest of this tour, you need to think about what’s best.”
My heart sank. My trip of a lifetime had swerved dramatically off-course, and this was where I had to get off. I knew it.
“You want me to leave.”
Jason shook his head. “I don’t want you to leave. Actually, I can’t imagine the rest of this tour without you. But, Derek’s right. We do need to do something to calm things down.”
“It’s not your relationship that’s the problem, it’s that everyone has gone insane about the age gap. It’s so damaging to Jason and the band as a whole.”
“Oh God.” Jason growled. “This is so fucking stupid. People are talking as if she’s skipping around in her school uniform and I’m lurking at the school gates! She’s nineteen, for Christ’s sake! You know I never looked at her inappropriately. Never. She’s Lucy. Lucy from next door. That’s who she always was until we got out here and we really got to know each other. She’s been a fucking Godsend on this tour and if those asshole photographers hadn’t seen us, we’d have worked this out on our own, without other people
’s interference.”
“Jason, you’re ten years older than her. You’ve got to see how it looks.”
“I do. I see that. I get that the gap is big. But that doesn’t make me some evil predator who tricked her into kissing me.”
“Okay, stop.” I stood up, pulling Jason up with me. “We’ve been over this. Or at least I have with virtually everyone on this bloody bus. Now we need to figure out what to do next.”
“One step ahead of you.” Derek smiled. “You both need to talk away from everyone. I’ve managed to book a conference room for you in a hotel a couple of streets away. You’ll be alone, the hotel staff are under strict instructions to not let anyone near that room, and the hotel security are waiting. The hardest part will be smuggling you both out of here, but there’s a car arriving in about twenty minutes to take you where you need to go. You know the drill. Keep your heads down, and for God’s sake, not a word to anyone.”
Chapter 10 – I’ll Take You To The Top
Derek – although occasionally self-centred – was an absolute legend at times, and this was one of them. The car that took us to the hotel was swift and we had no problems getting into the hotel because the reporters weren’t expecting us to leave so quickly, and they didn’t know where we were going. Once we reached the safety of the large, supremely expensive looking building, Jason and I were finally alone. The hotel staff greeted us warmly and led us to a small conference room with a six seater table, comfortable-looking seats, and a coffee machine in the corner.
Jason and I ignored the facilities and held each other tightly the second the door closed behind us. Jason buried his hand in my hair. “I’m so sorry this happened, Luce.”
“Not your fault,” I mumbled, relishing in breathing in his scent. In being with him without anyone else watching us. “This is messed up, Jason. We’ve barely even kissed and now we’re being forced to make a decision about our future when all we were trying to do was get to know each other more. Better. In a different way.”
Jason pulled away a little, placing a soft kiss on my cheek before hopping up onto the table. “I know. This is my fault. I should have been more careful and I should have better explained what being with me really means.”
“I know what it means. I’ve seen it with Drew and Ellie, and I knew that – if I was ever lucky enough to get you to notice me – that it would be harder. Because it’s you. But I didn’t think it would lead to… this. Not people questioning your morals, and treating me like I’ve been tricked, and mocking me because I’m…”
I didn’t mean to let that slip out. Why the hell would I want to draw more attention to the fact that I was a nineteen-year-old virgin? The press were already doing a good enough job of making me seem like a naïve loser, without me joining in.
“So… that thing about you not having any experience…?”
“True.” My cheeks flamed and I started to turn away from him but he caught my hand and I looked up at him, feeling like the world’s lamest person. I mean, who stays a virgin until they’re almost twenty? Many of my friends pretty much threw theirs away as soon as they hit sixteen, and several of them did so even sooner. That just wasn’t me. I actually believed in being with someone I – at the very least liked – but aimed for more. Those who said things like, “It’s just sex,” confused me. How can sex ever be “just” anything? You can’t get closer to another person than that.
Jason pulled me towards him, parting his knees so I could slip between his legs. He rested his hands on my back. “Let’s just figure out what to do about what’s happening right now. We can talk about the other stuff later.”
I shook my head. “It’s all important, Jason. If the fact that I’m… that I’ve never…”
“Lucy, don’t make that into a bigger deal than it is. Everyone has a first time. The only thing about that that worries me is whether you really want me to be the one.”
Jason was the only man who’d ever made my body react so strongly. Or at all. I’d kissed other people before him, and while the sensation was nice, none of them had started a fire inside me. I thought that was just… I don’t know… a myth written about in romance novels. Or that there was something wrong with me, and that I’d die a virgin because I’d never been aroused by anyone before.
“I want you to be the one. And that is the only thing I’m sure about.”