“I tried to tell them that we’d like some privacy to find our way through this. And that that’s what Derek should tell the press. That right now, we’re only just starting something and we’d appreciate less intrusion. Drew and Ellie think we need to end this now.”
“Maybe we should wait and see what the reaction is. I can handle Ellie and Drew, and even Mum and Dad. They know us and love us and they will come around. Hopefully. But the rest of the world? That is a lot of people saying bad things. And I’m sure my priorities should be the other way around but there’s a lot of hate out there, just waiting to be thrown at someone. That’s hard to get over, and it could kill the band if it gets out of control.”
His face paled and that scared me more than anything. I knew he hadn’t thought that far ahead, even though he probably should have. I might have meant something to him, but compared to his career? Nope. I couldn’t compete with that, and I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to lose him when I’d barely even got him, but I wouldn’t let him sacrifice his career for me either.
“You’re right,” he said. “I’ll talk to Derek and I’ll tell him the truth, but let’s leave any announcements until we’ve got a better grip on what people are saying.”
“I should call my parents too. Now. Ellie and Drew can wait since you’ve already given them an explanation.”
Jason nodded. “We’ll sort this, Luce. We will.”
“I know.”
What I didn’t know was whether it would have a good outcome.
Jason’s lips began to curve upwards as he looked at me, and for a few moments, the drama disappeared. I raised my head and my lips were so ready for his. His mouth brushed against mine in a kiss that stirred all my senses again.
I will not let this go. I will fight with everything I have to make the bad stuff go away.
“Lucy.” Ellie’s voice broke the moment, and I tried hard not to glare at her as I turned around. “We really need to talk.”
Without a word, I rose to my feet, but placed another kiss on Jason’s cheek before I followed Ellie down towards the front of the bus. She still buzzed with anger, but somewhere in the depths of her eyes I saw the tiniest hint of understanding.
“I hate this, Lucy,” she said with a sigh. “I hate it. I know Jason is what you want, and I want you to be happy but…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “I’m not okay with this. I want to throttle him right now.”
“This isn’t his fault, Ellie. It’s not about fault. It’s about two people who like each other. That’s it. That’s all. It’s not for the world to go nuts about. It’s not their business. It’s not even your business, or Drew’s or Mum and Dad’s. This is about me. It’s about Jason. And everyone else needs to back off.”
Ellie ran her hands through her hair and she shook her head. “Mum and Dad are going to flip.”
“Why? Oh God, please tell me you didn’t discuss this with them too.”
“Of course I didn’t, but you know what Mum’s like. You can’t hide anything from her. She knows how you feel about Jason, and yeah, I’m sure that was one of her concerns before you left.”
“Why are you all so down on him? For people who are supposed to be his friends, you act like he’s the worst person in the world.”
“It’s not that, Lucy. Come on, you know how much I love Jason but I love you more. And this scares me. You and him. I just… I’m scared for you.”
“Why? What about it scares you so much? You think I haven’t seen him at his worst?”
“You haven’t seen him at his worst. When he was at his worst, he wasn’t allowed in our house because you were too young to-”
I held my hands up. “Just stop! I’m sorry for what you went through back then, but that was a long time ago. Things aren’t the same as they were then, and if you can’t see that, I don’t have anything else to say to you.”
I pushed past her and headed back to my bunk – literally the only place I could be on my own since I didn’t trust that the paparazzi weren’t already outside waiting.
My heart thudded furiously, and I felt a little lightheaded from all that had happened in the short space of time since I’d woken up. This was a gigantic screw up. Perhaps Ellie and I were cursed when it came to relationships – particularly relationships with the Brooks brothers. Just over a year ago, when she got with Drew, there was another media storm, not because they were dating, but because of the way it came about. My hopefully-soon-to-be relationship with Jason was equally as dramatically revealed, if not more so because of the fact he was ten years older than me.
With a sigh, I picked up my phone and called my mum’s mobile before I could freak out and hide away from it all. I hoped to God that she hadn’t turned the TV on yet.
Thankfully, she hadn’t, which gave me a chance to calmly explain what had happened. I couldn’t stop my tears as I tried to justify what had happened, even though I didn’t feel like I should have needed to. I sobbed my heart out when I told her how Ellie had reacted.
“Lucy.” Mum’s voice was as wobbly as mine. Partly, I knew, it was because she couldn’t stand to hear me upset, but it wasn’t just that. She was as concerned as Ellie and Drew. “Listen to me, darling. I know you think Jason is what you want, but you have to ask yourself if being with him is worth all of the fuss it’s going to cause. And has already caused by the sound of it.”
“Why do people keep talking to me like I’m stupid? Mum, please. Why can’t you understand how much thought I’ve put into this? And I don’t just mean daydreaming, and imagining my wedding day. I mean real thought. I get that this is complicated and it could all end in a massive disaster but isn’t that true of all relationships? Aren’t they all a bit risky?”
“Yes. But not this risky.”
Our conversation was interrupted as I heard my dad bellowing my mum’s name in the background.