“No,” I mumbled into his chest. “Wanna do it again.”
“I didn’t hurt you?”
“No.” I closed my eyes, allowing my flesh to recall every lash of his tongue, the burn of his stubble. I still felt the imprint of his hands pressing into my skin and I wanted to wail out loud from how good it felt to let him take control, to do exactly what he wanted.
“Ells?”
“Mmhmm?”
“Are you sure?”
I tilted my head a little, peering up at him from beneath my eyelashes. “You didn’t hurt me.”
Concern melted away from his eyes, leaving them warm, soft. A million miles from the feral blaze that burned through me earlier. I smiled, neither of us needing to say any more. I could have told him I loved him, told him how lucky I was to have a best friend and a man who could make my head spin rolled into one sexy package. How I couldn’t imagine being without him.
I didn’t say any of those things. I knew he heard me above the noise of everything else that had happened that day. There was no need for words.
Morning brought good news. Jason had woken up shortly after we left the hospital, with no brain damage, and no lasting damage to his heart. He was, however, experiencing the “coke crash,” and it was sort of an unspoken agreement that, whether he wanted to or not, he would be going back to rehab as soon as possible.
Drew had been quiet since we woke up curled in each other’s arms. He was being extra gentle with me; his touches light and his kisses soft, as if he trying to make up for being rougher than usual the night before. My insistence that I was fine hadn’t trickled into his brain yet, in part because he had other things on his mind, and in part because he was, well, Drew.
After Michael called to tell us Jason would be fine, Drew retreated farther into his silence. Not in a blocking me out kind of way. More pensive, and trying to come to terms with everything. It scared me that I didn’t know what he was thinking, but physically, he kept me close, and that was enough for me.
Our sense of happiness about Jason’s diagnosis shattered in an instant when Drew and I arrived at the hospital.
The entrance was swarming with reporters.
We pulled into the car park as my phone started to ring. After some sloppy parking, I cast my eyes down at the screen. Mum.
“Deja vu, anyone?” I gave a weary sigh,
“We should start getting papers delivered. That way we’ll know what we’re doing at the same time as everyone else.”
With a grimace, I clicked the answer button.
“Hi, Mum.”
“Ellie! Have you seen the newspapers?”
This is fast becoming my least favourite phrase.
“No, but we’re at the hospital and there are cameras and journalists everywhere.”
“They know everything. About the... the cocaine.”
Mum’s stutter over the word “cocaine” didn’t surprise me at all. Open-minded as she was, and as much as she cared for Jason, his drug use had always frightened her. At his worst; stealing, and punching anyone who got in the way of his next fix, she’d been afraid he’d show up at the house, asking for money to fund another hit. One night, while visiting his dad, Mum found him talking to Lucy over the fence, completely off his head. Lucy was only fifteen at the time, and Mum rushed her away in case he flipped out. Not that she’d ever seen him flip, but she’d heard plenty. She’d told me she felt guilty and stupid for being afraid of Jason, who she’d watched grow up. I could hardly judge her for her fears. A lot of the time, I’d felt the same way.
This time was different, though. This was not going to be another dramatic slide back to how he used to be.
“All the quotes come from a source,” Mum went on. “No names. But they know Jason could have died.”
I imagined Derek had planned another cover-up story, but since the truth had already leaked out, any tale he’d concocted would be rendered useless. This kind of press was the last thing the band needed so close to hitting the big time, and Derek would have to implement some serious damage control to save their reputation.
Luckily, he’d had a lot of practise in that area.
“Anything else I should know?”
A pause. “Why aren’t you more upset about this?”