I shuffle around on his lap and straddle him so I can look at him better. His hands fall to my hips before kissing me once again. “Is this why mom is burning a cake?”
“Probably,” I laugh.
He goes quiet for a moment as he continues watching me. His eyes become serious and I know that whatever he wants to tell me isn’t easy. “I miss you,” he murmurs, leaning his forehead against mine.
I reach around and take his hands from my hips before lacing my fingers through his. “I miss you, too.”
He searches my eyes for a moment. “Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Race?”
I drop my eyes to his chest. I was wondering when he was going to grill me on all of this. I guess there’s no better time than the present. If only I wasn’t so ashamed of myself. “Come on,” I tell him. “You know why I did it.”
“You wanted an excuse to see me.”
I let out a sigh. “You hurt me, Nate. I wanted your attention and I didn’t care how I got it. I knew you weren’t going to just cave and give me what I needed so I did something that I knew would work, and it did.”
He shakes his head ever so slightly. “It sure fucking did,” he grunts. “Do you know how bad that could have ended?”
“I know,” I tell him. “But it didn’t. I was actually pretty damn good.”
He scoffs. “It was pretty fucking hot too.” A laugh comes bubbling up and I can’t possibly stop it. “It’s not funny,” he demands. “You could have been hurt.”
The laughter is coming strong now. “I’m sorry.”
He grabs my waist and throws me down on the bed, unable to stop his own smile. “What am I going to do with you?”
I look up into the eyes I love as things grow serious. “Take me back,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “You know I can’t do that.”
“But I got into college,” I tell him, confused. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”
“It is,” he tells me, “But it’s more than that. I’m not good for you and I’m going to end up pulling you down when you should be shining.”
“I’ve gotten into more trouble without you over the past two weeks than what I did with you, and on top of that, I haven’t punched anyone and my grades are back up.”
“Babe, that just proves you’re better without me,” he says. “I thought we discussed this.”
“And you thought I was just going to give up?” I smirk.
He grins down at me and presses his lips to mine. “I hoped not,” he admits before pulling back and really looking at me. “Speaking of trouble,” he says. “Care to explain why you let Jackson take you to a Haven Falls party on Friday night?”
“Seriously?” I laugh. “If you really need me to explain that, you’re not as smart as I gave you credit for.”
“Oh, I know exactly why you did it, I just want to see if you’ll actually admit it.”
“Fine,” I groan. “You pissed me off so I wanted to do the same, and Jackson… well, what a perfect way to get under your skin.”
He shakes his head as he looks at me in wonder. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I know, but you can fix that by fixing us.”
“Tora,” he groans before letting out a deep sigh. “You know, I’ve been fucking miserable without you these last few weeks.”
“You don’t think I have been too?”
“I know you have. I see it in your eyes every time I look at you and I hate that I’m to blame for that.”
“You’re not,” I tell him. “I’m the one who got involved in fights, I’m the one who let my grades slip, and I’m the one who stormed off to the boat shed. This is all on me.”
“Don’t say that,” he whispers.
I can’t help but smile up at him. Things aren’t great between us and I know we have some issues to figure out but right now, at this moment, it’s never been better. I’m going to college, I have the man I love in my arms… well, for now, I finally have answers on the whole fire bullshit, and not to mention my mom looked so damn happy today that I could die right now and not have a single regret.
“I love you, Nate.”
His hand runs down the side of my face as he looks deeply into my eyes. “I promise you, Tora. When I told you I love you, I fucking meant it. You’re my world, and I swear to you, I’m going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that I’m good enough for you. Being without you, it kills me.”
“I know,” I tell him, saying exactly what he said to me. “I see it in your eyes.”