Not to mention, dad left. Again. And what’s worse, he just walked out the door. Not once did he come to see me and talk things through even after I went to his office on Wednesday afternoon. He sent me away claiming he was too busy with a promise he’ll come up in a bit. I’ve never been so disappointed with him.
I tilt my head back into the water as my mind blurs with constant thoughts. It’s been non-stop for the past two weeks and every single thought has been about Nate. I’m seriously not coping being apart. I hate it. He’s the guy I want to be with. I want to share my life with him. Every single day, I want to run to him and hold him in my arms while he tells me it’s all going to be ok.
Clearly… that’s not going to happen.
The more time we have apart, the more I’m convinced it’s truly over. Over the past two weeks, I’ve spoken to him once and that was when he was busy yelling at me about the whole race thing. It completely sucked. I need so much more than that.
Crap. I sound like a whiney cow, but I deserve it, my hearts been hurting and if I can’t complain now, when the hell can I?
I rinse the shampoo from my hair and close my eyes. It’s a Friday night and I’ll be doing what I should have done last Friday night; staying home and going straight to bed.
The door of the bathroom slams open and I gasp as my eyes ping open with the intruding sound. My head whips around and a moment later, I find a furious Nate standing before me.
My heart leaps out of my chest as I flick around and turn off the taps. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I shriek.
I step out of the shower and watch as he grabs the towel off the back of the door and tosses it at me. It whacks me in the face and I hurry to spread it out and wrap it around my body. “What’s going on with Jackson?”
I can’t help but glare at him. “Hi, Tora. How are you? I know I’ve refused to talk to you for the past two weeks, but I really do miss you.”
“Answer the damn question,” he demands.
I walk forward and stand right before him as I look up into his haunted eyes. “What does it matter?” I whisper as I will myself not to break. “He’s not you.”
Nate shakes his head ever so slightly as his hand falls to my waist. “Don’t,” he tells me. “Don’t make this harder.”
I lean into him and press myself up against him, not caring that I’m soaking wet from my shower. “There’s nothing going on,” I tell him as both his hands take my shoulders and run up and down my arms. “He likes me but knows I’m not interested.”
“Then tell him to fuck off,” he says. “I did this to us so you wouldn’t have a bad influence in your life and then you go and run into the arms of the worst one around.”
I want to tell him how Jackson isn’t really that bad, but I have a feeling that’s not going to go down well, so instead, I look up into the eyes that I love and do my best to try and work this out. I let out a sigh and wait until I know I have his undivided attention. “I miss you, Nate,” I tell him with my heart on my sleeve. “This isn’t right. How much longer are you going to put us through this?”
I watch as his heart shatters before me and he wraps his arms securely around my waist, giving me that closeness I’ve been craving since the day he left. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs as he ducks his head into the crook of my neck. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
I hold onto him a little tighter. “Then stay.”
He pulls back and looks into my eyes. “I can’t, Tora,” he tells me before dropping his arms from my body.
“No,” I panic terrified he’s about to walk out the door. “Just… I got an A on Miller’s test. I’m good now.”
He brings his hand up and runs his fingers down the side of my wet face. His eyes soften as he watches me and I can tell whatever he’s about to say is not something I’m prepared to hear. “That just proves I’m right,” he tells me with regret. “I’m sorry,” he says again as his hand drops to his side and he walks out the bathroom door.
“Wait,” I call, hurrying after him while desperately trying to piece together the pieces of my shattered heart. He turns back and I crash into him, jamming my face into his chest as I hold on with everything I’ve got. “Please. Don’t go. I just… I need you.”