I shake my head against the pillow. “Apparently, that’s not enough.”
“Shit,” she curses under her breath. “I’m sorry, Torz. What happened?”
I shake my head as another lump gets caught in my throat. If she makes me talk about it, I won’t be responsible for the horrific mess I turn into. I’m already too busy trying to figure out how I’m going to get past the next few days without breaking down. I mean, he broke up with me. Nate Ryder is no longer my boyfriend. I’ve always wondered just how shitty it would be having a guy like Nate dump me. I always assumed it would be brutal. But I was safe. That was never going to happen to me. Nate was mine and I was his.
I’ve never been so wrong.
My watery eyes meet Brooke’s concerned ones. “I… I can’t.”
“It’s ok,” she whispers, pulling me in tighter so my head rests firmly against her shoulder. “Just cry. We can talk when you’re ready, and then we’ll work out how to sucker punch him without him seeing us coming.”
I nod my head and that’s exactly how we spend the next few hours. I cry on and off against Brooke’s shoulder as she holds me and continuously offers me water, ice cream, and chocolate while she watches a movie on Netflix, one that I haven’t even bothered looking up to watch.
Chapter 14
It took me two days to allow mom to shove food down my throat.
Three days to talk about it.
Four days to answer my phone.
Five days to get out of bed.
And six days to answer the door.
“Fuck, you look like shit,” Jesse says, walking through my bedroom door. Though, I guess I have to give him credit for actually knocking and waiting patiently for me to decide if I was going to bother getting up.
“What do you want?” I groan, looking into a pair of eyes that look so much like Nate’s.
“What’s going on? You haven’t been at school all week and Nate has been a bigger asshole than usual. Are you sick or something? Did you guys have a fight, because if you did, I think it’s about time you kiss and makeup.”
I stare at him blankly as he makes himself comfortable on the bed that has become my salvation over the past week. “Are you serious?” I scoff in disbelief, making him look up at me in confusion. “He broke up with me.”
“What?” he grunts in complete disbelief.
I don’t say anything, just watch the way he replays my words over and over again in his head, trying to make sense of it, basically the same way I’ve been doing for the past week. I slowly nod my head as he continues watching me, just in case my red-rimmed eyes and crushed soul aren’t enough to get the point across.
I watch as understanding dawns in his dark eyes. Maybe he’s making sense of how I haven’t been at school all week or maybe how Brooke has been making it her personal mission to glare at Nate every chance she gets, though I don’t know how she manages that as I’m sure she’s still glaring at Maxen as well.
Jess pushes himself up on my bed so he can watch me a little closer. “You’re not joking, are you?” he questions in horror.
I slowly shake my head and purse my lips. “I wish I was,” I tell him, willing the tears to stay at bay. I’ve already cried so much over the past week that my eyes physically couldn’t handle anymore. They simply hurt too much.
“Shit,” he groans as he lets out a heavy breath. He gets up from my bed and crosses to me in two big strides before wrapping his warm arms around me and pulling me in. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs with deep regret. “Are you alright?”
I shake my head against his chest before pulling out of his arms. “I miss him.”
Jesse is quiet for a while as he gives me the comfort I’ve been craving since Saturday, but it’s not the same. I need Nate. “I just… I don’t get it. Why? Did something happen?”
“Jess,” I groan, flopping down onto my bed. “Don’t make me talk about it.”
He nods but I see a million questions flying around his head, making him look just as confused and lost as I feel. He flops down beside me and puts his hand down on top of mine before giving it a firm squeeze. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I don’t understand it. Did you guys fight or something?”
“No,” I sigh. I kind of wish we had, that would make it a little easier to accept. “He doesn’t think he’s right for me. His lifestyle. I’m getting in too much trouble and I’m throwing away my future.”
“Fuck,” he grunts. “This is about the fights and the fire, isn’t it? He’s worried you’re going to get hurt.”