“It’s my ex again,” I told him.
“He’s still calling you?”
I nodded. “Very much.”
As the phone continued to ring, Ash said, “Why don’t you answer it? Maybe then he’ll stop.”
I knew he was right. And Keely had pretty much said the same thing. But just because it was the obvious thing to do, didn’t mean I wanted to.
Do it. Stop hiding and do it.
The thought annoyed me because it was so accurate. I was hiding. I was trying to protect myself, but Jay seemed determined not to let me get away with that. I stood up, realising that if I didn’t answer the call before it stopped ringing this time, I would never do it.
“I’ll be right back.”
I slipped out of Ash’s room and swiped to answer the call. Instead of the standard greeting, I opted for, “What do you want, Jay?”
There was a long pause, then Jay said, “Evie. I was about to hang up.”
There was surprise in his voice. Of course there was. There was no reason for him to think this call would end up any other way than the others had; with him being directed to my voicemail. But he still sounded like him. My Jay. The one I’d known for what felt like forever, and I wasn’t ready for hearing him to make goosebumps pop up on my skin. It wasn’t from desire though. Just that familiarity of him that had etched itself into my skin after we’d spent so many years together.
The only thing I could think of to say was a repeat of my question, so instead, I just waited quietly.
“How are you, Evie?”
His tone was soft, and I leaned back against the door with a sigh. “I’m okay. Why are you calling?”
Perhaps my constant avoidance of his calls had led to him forgetting what he wanted to say because he stumbled over his words. “Well, I… It’s just that… I… Can I see you?”
I didn’t know what I’d expected him to say, but that wasn’t it, and I closed my eyes for a second. “Why?” I asked quietly.
“Because I miss you. I miss having you in my life.”
But you left me. And friendly as our divorce was, I don’t want to see you again.
I knew saying those words out loud would sound heartless, so I swallowed them down. It had taken me a year to fully let go of him. A year to accept that everything we’d built together was gone and wasn’t coming back. Another year on, I was still struggling with anxiety and the grief of losing our son. I didn’t think that would ever stop. The last thing I needed was him barging back in and shattering whatever semblance of a life I’d clawed back.
“Jay.” I sighed. “We agreed. Once it was over, it was really over. No friendship. No casual texts to ask how the other is doing. Nothing.”
“I know, Evie. I know. But a lot of things have happened, and for as long as I’ve known you, you were always the one I talked to. Now… I miss that.”
“Why can’t you talk to Julia?”
She was the woman in his life now. That had been made pretty clear when he’d left me to be with her.
“It’s complicated,” Jay said. “Evie, please. Can we have a coffee or something?”
“Where are you?” I asked, my heart rate picking up. B
ecause the last I’d heard, he was living in Scotland.
“I’m staying in Manchester with my parents for a few days.”
That was a lot closer than I liked him being. It wasn’t weird that he was seeing his parents between Christmas and New Year. What was weird was that he’d said he was staying. No mention of Julia.
Curiosity prickled in my veins, but I said nothing because whatever was going on, it wouldn’t change my answer.
“I can’t,” I said, softly but firmly. “I can’t.”