"Pass it to me," I said, and he did. "I'm putting my number in here. I know you won't have your charger here so you'll need to be careful with the battery, but if you want to text me anytime, you can." Once I'd input my number and noted the make and model of the phone, I smiled. Of course we'd have the same phone. I could add it to the ever-growing list of things we had in common. "I'll bring you a charger tomorrow. I'm sure they'll let you plug it in somewhere."
As I handed his phone back to him, he said, "That's too much. You don't need to."
"Call it a Christmas present," I said with a small grin. "I have a spare one at home, so it's not a problem."
Again, he nodded, still seeming unsure. I wanted to lean over and give him a hug, but I knew that was a move he wasn't ready for, plus, with his injuries, it would have hurt like hell. Instead, I stood up, picking up my bag, but not before giving his hand another squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow, as soon as they'll let me in."
A flicker of doubt crossed his face. "Are you sure you want to come back?"
"Why wouldn't I, Ash?"
His shoulders rose slightly in an attempt at a shrug. "I'm not your problem."
"You're not a problem at all."
And he really wasn't. Hadn't been from the moment I met him. Whatever signs of vulnerability he'd showed, whatever little glimpses he'd allowed me into his life, I'd somehow tucked away somewhere inside me. Not out of a sense of duty or because I was the only one around, but because I understood how it felt to feel lost and have no idea where to turn.
"Okay," he said after a moment. "I hope you enjoy what's left of today."
"I'll do my best," I told him with another smile. "See you tomorrow."
The last thing I wanted to do was face a barrage of questions, but it was Christmas Day and I couldn't not see my mum. As soon as I got to the hospital entrance, I called her to tell her I was on my way, but she surprised me by saying that she wasn't at home and was at Keely's. Keely had called her and invited her over to spend the afternoon with them so she wasn't on her own the whole day. That made me smile. I'd said I would go back to Keely's later anyway, so this would make things a lot easier, plus, being there would mean I would have more distractions, namely the kids, which eased a little of my dread.
When I arrived at Keely's, in spite of the fact that is was late afternoon, Oscar was still running around the house, high on the festivities, and Daisy was sitting on the floor amongst the masses of toys and wrapping paper that scattered the living room. She beamed when she saw me and Oscar charged at me, wrapping his arms around my legs. The house still smelled like Christmas dinner and my stomach growled. All I’d had all day was a sandwich from the hospital canteen.
I placed the bag I had with my mum's presents in down by the Christmas tree and lifted Oscar up into my arms, giving him a hug as I walked over to my mum. She smiled and stood up to embrace me. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart," she said, and we kissed each other on the cheek.
"Merry Christmas, Mum." Keely came over and took Oscar from me so I could hug my mum properly. "I'm so sorry about today."
"Don't worry about it, my darling," she said, sitting down again. "I've had a lovely afternoon here with everyone, and you're here now."
Knowing she really meant it, I relaxed a little, then reached over for the gift bag and sat down beside her, handing it to her. She smiled and said, "Yours are under the tree."
"I'll get them! I'll get them!" Oscar said, bouncing up and down in Keely's arms, and she put him down so he could pick up the last remaining gift bag down there.
As he dragged it over, Nick walked into the living room and handed me a cup of tea. I let out a long, grateful sigh. Hospital tea was horrid, and having a proper cup in my hands was a huge relief. "Thank you," I told him. "I need this."
Keely and Nick sat down too, and I knew they all wanted to ask questions, but what I wanted to do was sit quietly for a while. I know I'd technically been doing that all day; it wasn't as if Ash had provided much conversation, but there was still always something going on in his hospital room. Doctors and nurses popping in, and the police asking questions, and then when I left the room, worried relatives and busy staff rushing by. It was nice just to be still.
Keely was the first to break the silence. “How is he?”
Blowing out a long breath, I said, “He’s conscious. In a lot of pain.”
“Do you know what happened?”
“Yeah.” I held onto my cup tighter as both anger and stomach-wrenching pain at what Ash had been through rushed through me. I glanced at the kids, who were playing together on the floor. Even though they weren’t listening to the conversation, I still didn’t want to go into the details while they were in the room.
“Tell you what,” Nick said. “I’ll go get the kids into their pyjamas while you talk, then we’ll get you some food and try to salvage some of the day for you.”
I threw him a smile. “That sounds good.”
Silence.
Somehow, even though Evie had only sat quietly beside me all day while I slept, when she was gone, the silence seemed so loud.
It was good of her to stay with me, but I knew she’d only done it because she felt like she had to. I never should have put her in that position, but the nu
rse kept on asking me if there was someone she could call for me. Insisted there must be someone, and Evie was the only person I could think of. I never really thought she’d come.