As another cramp tears through me, I push my phone off my lap and scoot myself down my bed while trying to stifle my groans and grunts. I mean, if either Nate of Jesse heard me, they’d come flying in here in the blink of an eye. I can just picture it now. Nate would come with filled hands of pain killers, water, and a cold press while Jesse would barge in with the trashy magazines, ice cream, and probably a selection of tampons just in case I’d run out.
God, I love them. I don’t know how I spent five years hating them… well, actually, I know exactly how I spent five years hating them, and I hate that I missed those years with them, but it is what it is and now all I can do is try to make up for what we lost.
I get myself down on my pillow and have to roll onto my side and pull my legs up into the fetal position to help dull the pain, though it doesn’t help much and just makes me feel uncomfortable.
I grab my pillow and squish my head into it, groaning with every little movement. I lay awake in the dark room for hours suffering in silence, only the pain never goes away. If anything, it gets worse.
I feel around on my bed and find my phone. I hit the home button, lighting up the screen and squint at the brightness. It’s after four in the morning and I hate that I’ve spent the last few hours suffering in pain rather than thinking of my Nanna whose funeral is currently being held on the other side of the world. Though, with this pain, I can’t think of a damn thing other than the feel of my lower tummy trying to tear itself in half.
Silent tears start falling from my eyes as I reach for the nearly empty packet of pain killers. I have to do something about this. I can’t go on in this kind of pain. I start googling things that could help when I see a cool shower.
It’s worth a try.
I drop my phone back to the bed and get my hands underneath me before pushing up. Pain rips through my lower stomach and I realize this couldn’t be right. I mean, period pain couldn’t possibly be this bad. It has to be something more.
I swivel around on my bed and somehow manage to get myself into the bathroom. With one arm wrapped tightly around my lower tummy, I reach into the shower and turn the tap with a grunt of pain.
It’s been like this all day but has only started to get this bad over the last few hours. I mean, since Nanna died, I haven’t really been eating much and what I have eaten, hasn’t exactly been that good. It’s all junk food and sodas. Maybe my body is reacting to that.
I stand under the spray of cool water but it doesn’t help and standing up only seems to make it worse. I lean back against the cold tiles of the shower and slide down until I’m sitting in the corner of the shower.
Tears stream down my face and I know I can’t go on like this much longer. The pain-killers aren’t helping and this feeling couldn’t be normal.
After sitting for a while and trying to breathe through the pain, I reach up and latch onto the tap. I use it to help pull myself up off the ground before keeping myself hunched over as straightening out hurts like a bitch.
My hands begin to shake and I somehow manage to wrap a towel around my now shivering body. I get back out into my room and scramble around in the dark for my phone. I need help and I doubt I’ll make it up the hallway.
I have no choice but to curl back up in my bed and the second my head hits the pillow; my tears instantly begin staining it. I pull up my phone and go into my recent contact list and find his name right at the top.
I hit call and a second later, the sound of his phone going off in his room is echoing through the silent house. He answers the call before his tired voice comes through on my end. “I knew you’d come running b-”
“I… I… Something’s wrong,” I cry, through the phone, cutting him off with a voice filled with agony.
“Huh?” he says through the phone as I hear him moving around in his room.
A sob tears through me and before I know it, the door of my room is practically kicked in as Nate frantically storms in. He flicks on the lights and I clench my eyes closed at the sudden blinding light. His eyes widen as he takes me in. “Fuck,” he curses while racing towards me. He drops down to his knees beside the bed as he looks me over. “What’s wrong?”