I’m not ready.
“What was Alan’s was Lynn’s, Alice. But that’s not the crucial point. You are Alan’s daughter,” Dylan said.
“You don’t know that I’m Alan’s daughter, no matter how much you want to believe that I am.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dylan asked slowly, and she saw anger flicker in his lustrous eyes.
“It means that I know you want it, I know it would justify all you’ve done in finding me. But that doesn’t make it true, Dylan.”
“The trust is left to Adelaide Durand. You’re Adelaide Durand,” he bit out. “The document doesn’t say anything about requiring genetic testing. That’s just something I thought we should do for your peace of mind.”
“You told me that Durand executives would demand it when the time came!” Oh God, that time is now. Why hadn’t she realized Kehoe’s actions would pop the lid off everything so quickly?
“That was before I read Lynn’s journals. I didn’t think it could be a potential sticking point then. But if I tell them that you’re Addie Durand, then they’ll just have to damn well take my word for it. I’m the executor of your trust, not them.”
Alice stared at him, jarred by his outburst. “Is it that important to you? That I’m her? Is that why you’re willing to shove the fact that I’m supposedly Alan Durand’s daughter down the board’s throat? Do you want me to be his heiress that much?”
He looked bewildered. Then his anger returned, redoubled. “Are you implying I just want you for the purpose of claiming the trust? Do you think I’ve done all this because I was motivated by money?”
“No. I don’t think that for a second. But I think you might have done all this because you were motivated by honor,” she said, her voice a choked shout. “And duty. And guilt. And so to admit that I might not be Alan Durand’s real daughter is hard, because then you have to wonder why the hell you did it all.”
He turned his head, hitched his chin, and shut his eyelids briefly.
“It was bad enough having to hear this shit from Sidney all these years. Now I’ve got to hear it from you?”
“Well maybe Sidney and I are seeing something you’re not,” she cried. “I know he was here in the hospital today, talking to you about your guilt.”
“What?” He turned and looked at her, clearly caught off guard. “Sidney wasn’t talking to me about my old gui
lt—the regret I felt as a kid in regard to the kidnapping. He was talking to me about dealing with my guilt for letting Kehoe hurt you.”
“You weren’t responsible for that! You can’t control everything, Dylan.”
“I realize that,” he replied angrily. “But it’s also completely natural that I’d regret it. Even Sidney thinks so. Do you have any idea how helpless I felt, seeing you slumped in that pantry, covered in blood?”
“I’m tired of being the thing you have to feel guilty about all the time! It’s like Sidney has always told you, guilt isn’t a healthy emotion to base your life on. It’s certainly not the key emotion to build a relationship on,” she exclaimed heatedly.
His eyes narrowed. She gasped back a rush of emotion. She immediately wanted to take it back, and at the same time, experienced relief at finally voicing her worry.
“Is that what you think?” he asked after a billowing silence. “Sidney doesn’t understand the way I feel about you. I don’t really expect him to. I thought you did though. Maybe I was wrong about that.” He stood.
Alice wanted to scream so bad that he wasn’t wrong. But she was so scared Sidney was right. Doubt assailed her, choking off her voice. Maggie came up to the door just as Dylan stalked out. She crossed the threshold, her eyes wide.
“I heard shouting,” Maggie said in a muted tone.
“Sometimes I wish I’d never heard the name Adelaide Durand,” Alice blurted out hoarsely. “No, I wish Dylan never had.”
Her face crumpled.
“Oh no,” Maggie said, rushing to her side.
THE next morning, Dylan arrived at the hospital by eight. He’d calmed down a lot since last night.
Yeah, Alice’s doubt had hurt. He wished he were so confident about caring for another human being the way he cared about her that it hadn’t hurt as much as it had. But he also understood Alice was scared. Why wouldn’t she be? Her entire world had been shaken by learning she was born another person, she’d been forced to provide the FBI with details so they could more easily arrest the people she’d thought were her family, and she’d been brutally attacked and almost killed by a crazy man. All of that had happened within the last three weeks of her life.
Add to that, she’d told Dylan she wasn’t sure she trusted him, only to tell him she loved him the following week. He knew enough about Alice to realize that alone would have rattled her world, forget about all the other crap.
He’d known going into this whole thing that it would take a lot of patience and fortitude. Alice hadn’t realized that since Kehoe had gone over the edge, a lot of Dylan’s power to protect her privacy and anonymity had vanished. He’d taken her by surprise with that fact. Maybe he’d disappointed her. He’d try to make her understand today, without losing his temper this time.