“You remember what it was like in the garage, or on the beach?” he murmured, obviously sensing her anxiety. She placed her open hands on his chest and nodded. “It’s not going to be that different, Emma. Just you and me.”
She met his stare and nodded again. He studied her for a moment before he dropped his arms and took her hand in his. “Come here,” he muttered. He led her over to a leather couch and sat, urging her down into his lap. It felt wonderful to sit there with his hard thighs beneath her, surrounded by his arms. For some reason, his somber gaze on her made her throat ache with emotion.
“I’ve thought about this a lot all week,” he said. He opened his hands on her hips and circled her ever so subtly in his lap. Her eyes sprung wide when she felt the clear outline of his cock through his jeans. “That isn’t the kind of thing that can be faked. It would be enough for me, if the kind of sex you preferred was what we’ve done so far. Say the word and we’ll leave it at that. I prefer to be the dominant during sex, and I do like restraining a lover and administering light punishments, all with the purpose of amplifying pleasure and excitement, never to harm. But I’m not some kind of card-carrying BDSM master. I’ve always just acted on what feels right to me. When it comes to you, those are things that I could do without, though, if it feels like too much for you.”
A tingling sensation of warmth went through her flesh. She couldn’t believe he was saying this. She found herself at another crossroads. He was giving her an “out” she hadn’t expected. She stared into his aquamarine eyes, experiencing the sharp focus and depth of his character.
“Are you forgetting that I admitted to being aroused, despite it all?”
“No,” he said starkly. “And I’m no fool. I knew you were very responsive to being restrained. I consider myself a pretty good judge of this, and in my opinion, if you trusted enough, you would be a natural sexual submissive.”
His eyebrows arched, and Emma realized she’d flinched at the last two words.
“It’s not demeaning, Emma. I said sexual submissive. It’s just a natural dynamic for some people during sex, not others. I’m just saying that I think you have the tendencies, if you trusted your lover enough. If you trusted yourself, you would reap a great deal of pleasure by letting go. From my experience of you so far, I’d hardly call you a submis
sive in any other aspect of life,” he added with a raised brow.
She smiled at that.
“I don’t know yet how you’ll respond to more stringent measures, especially now that you’ve labeled it in your mind as a perversity.” She made a sound of protest at the word. “Don’t deny it. I saw the disgust on your face when you described to me what you saw that night. You definitely thought it perverse. But you’re here, and it’s your decision to explore whatever territory you prefer. Leave whatever you choose in the darkness. I’ll respect whatever you decide.”
* * *
Emma glanced around the office uneasily, finding it difficult to concentrate with his steady stare on her. It was necessary for her to steel herself, at least until she’d made herself clear to him. She realized she must have replayed the moments being trapped in his study so much that it actually looked familiar to her, despite the fact that it’d only been fleeting seconds that she stood there.
Or maybe she’d dreamed about it so much.
She swallowed thickly. “I choose not to prohibit anything . . . until I’m faced with the situation,” she said. “You can . . . introduce me to whatever you like, but—”
“You have the right to say no. Always,” he finished for her. He raised his dark eyebrows. “Are we in agreement then?”
“Yes. But there is one other thing.”
“What?”
“I heard what you said to Astrid that night about having nothing to offer a woman but sex.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she halted him this time by shaking her head. “I’m not upset about it. At least you’re honest. I can appreciate that. But I’m different than you are, I think. I’m not sure I can have an affair indefinitely and not give away too much of myself.”
His brow furrowed. “So what are you saying?”
“I need to know I control something, so I’ll control the end. I’ll give you four weeks. And then it’s over. We both walk away, but on my terms.”
Chapter Fifteen
His expression darkened. “Four weeks?”
“Is that too long?” she asked anxiously.
He looked nonplussed. “No . . . maybe. I don’t know. I’ve never had a woman put it quite that way before. I didn’t expect you, of all people, to be so calculating.”
She gave him an apologetic glance. “I’m just protecting myself. This will keep my expectations in check.”
His brow knitted tighter together. “Does this have to do with what that asshole boyfriend of yours pulled on you?”
“No,” she said honestly.
“Why did you pick four weeks?”
“I remember my mother saying once that it took all of five weeks for the fire to leave my father’s eyes. I wouldn’t want to be around to witness yours going out,” she said simply.