He doesn’t answer. Instead, he gets back in his car and drives off, ending our pointless conversation.
I walk back inside, and Lilly sits on the couch watching videos on her phone. Her blond hair is a mess from moving around in her sleep, and she still wears her Frozen nightgown. I make my way up the stairs to find Austin making the bed. “You’re up early.”
“Yeah, Lilly and I are meeting Becky for breakfast.” She tucks the end of the top sheet under the bed and turns to face me. “What were you doing outside?”
“I had to call and talk to Deke about something,” I lie. It used to be so easy lying to her, but now it chips a piece of me away every time she looks up at me, knowing she loves me. How easily she believes anything I say. It makes me sick to my stomach.
She nods and then begins to bite her bottom lip nervously.
“What?” I ask her.
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.” I sit on the side of the bed, and she comes to stand between my legs. “What is it?” I place my hands on her hips. She wears a little pair of cotton shorts and another one of my T-shirts. I can’t wait to get to our house in Texas where we have our own bedroom with a door that locks. So she can sleep naked for me again.
“I’ve been thinking about Texas.”
“And?” I ask.
“And we have four bedrooms.” I nod. “I spoke to Becky the other day …” Shit, I know where she’s headed with this now. “And she’s having trouble finding a place to live. I thought maybe she could move in with us.”
“Austin …”
“I heard Deke say he was going to be in the dorms. And they’re still not a hundred percent on speaking terms right now.”
I release her and run a hand through my hair. They’re not speaking at all actually. Deke told me the other day that she won’t return any of his texts or phone calls. I haven’t spoken to her once since we got into it while standing in Austin’s closet, and I’m fine with that. Becky and I don’t need to have any kind of conversation or interaction. That’s how things work between her and me.
“Come on.” She places both of her hands on my face, and I melt for her. “It will only be for a little while.”
I look up at her soft smile, and my shoulders fall. I’m gonna be in classes and busy with swimming. Austin hasn’t decided what she’s gonna do regarding school yet. She said she just wants to make sure Lilly is taken care of and adjusting to the new living situation and school. I guess having Becky around won’t hurt. It’s not like I’m gonna see her much. “Sure,” I relent.
She squeals and leans down, giving me a kiss on the lips. “I love you,” she mumbles against them. When I don’t say it back, she pushes me away so she can look me in the eye. “You okay?”
I run my hand over her hair. “Of course.” Lie.
All I’ve done is lie to her. Over and over again. Is this how I want our relationship to go? I plan on marrying this girl, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that life is unpredictable. I don’t want to lie to her. Austin is strong—physically and mentally—so I need to tell her what she deserves to know.
“I love you too,” I finally say, picking her up we fall onto the bed. She laughs and wraps her arms around my neck. I bury my face in hers. I don’t know how much longer I can last with these blue balls. It’s been almost three months. Two weeks ago, I couldn’t keep my hands off her anymore, and she begged me so sweetly that I brought her to orgasm with my fingers between her legs. Then the next day it was with my mouth. And every day since then. She’s tried to return the favor, but I refuse her every time.
Austin giggles. “Just gotta wait one more day,” she says, knowing exactly where my mind is going. Once we’re in our new house in our own bed, I’m gonna spend all night between her legs.
I nod. “Just one more day.” Giving her one more kiss, I push off her and help her stand. “I’m gonna call Blanche and see if she can keep Lilly today.”
She eyes me skeptically. “Why?”
“She called me yesterday wanting to take her to the aquarium before we leave for Texas.” Not a total lie. “I told her she could have her for a few hours today.”
“Okay.” She nods once and then kisses my cheek before making her way to the bathroom.
I look over my shoulder and watch her close the door. I pull my cell out and send a text. I have plans for us, and I don’t want Lilly around when we do what must be done.