Then everything goes black.
“Cole?”
I blink, jumping to my feet when I see Shelby standing before me. “Can I see her?” I ask in a rush.
She nods and looks at Bennett. “Austin has been moved up to ICU, which is on the fifth floor.” Then she looks back at me. “I can get you in her room, but just you for now. There is a waiting area up there, though, so your friends can wait there if they want.”
Bennett and I follow her up to the ICU. I send Deke a quick message because he never returned after chasing Becky out of the waiting room.
We drop Bennett off in the waiting area, and then I follow her through a new set of doors. A nurses’ station sits in the middle of the circular room with individual rooms surrounding it. Shelby and I come to a stop, and she turns to face me.
“I just want you to be prepared.”
“For what?” My stomach drops.
Her blue eyes search my face. “She will have a tube down her throat. One in her chest and an IV in her arm.” She places a hand on my shoulder. “She doesn’t look like the Austin you know.”
Anything is better than her lying on her father’s kitchen floor dead. As long as she’s fighting, that’s all I care about.
She opens the door, and I step into the cold room. It’s small. The sound of the beeping coming from her machines bounces off the sterile walls. Seeing her lying there in the bed, I realize Shelby was right. I don’t recognize her. She looks pale. Bruises cover her once flawless skin from when Kellan slammed her head into the marble floor and choked her. I didn’t see them earlier, but she was covered in so much blood. Now that they have cleaned her, everything is visible.
I walk over and sit down in the chair beside her bed. “When will she wake up?” I ask roughly.
“We have her in a drug-induced coma.”
“Why?” I swallow over the lump in my throat.
“She has cerebral edema or swelling of the brain. She’s receiving medication in her IV to reduce it. We will monitor her, and once it goes down, we will wean her off the sedation.”
My chest tightens, and my words come out as a whisper. “And if it doesn’t?”
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she pats my shoulder and then walks out, leaving me alone with her.
I grab Austin’s cold hand. It’s so small in mine. I lift it and kiss her knuckles, and it reminds me of that morning on the steps of the church. How much I hated her then. How much I wanted to see her broken. And look at her now. I almost killed her. I want her to open her eyes and tell me to go to hell, but I’m already there. I’ve been there for a month now while she paraded around with Myers. He didn’t deserve her, but neither did I. That doesn’t stop me from loving her, though. I’m still being a selfish prick. I want her. I need her. She must live. For me.
The worst part about it is that she saw this coming. She knew all along that I was going to hurt her that night in my father’s game room when I threw her that party. When I blackmailed her into joining the group.
She straightens her red sweater, and I love that she wore it for me. “But you don’t have a choice about joining us,” I tell her.
She stomps her foot. “Why does it matter so much to you?”
Because we need you. “You’ll have fun.”
“I’ll get arrested. Possibly die.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” I whisper, blinking a couple of times. “I just need you to wake up.” I run my free hand over her forehead. It’s the only place that I can really touch on her face because there’s tape over her cheeks to keep the ventilator in place. “Just wake …” A knot forms in my throat, and I try to swallow it. “And I’ll take care of you.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
COLE
IT’S BEEN THREE DAYS since the shooting, and I haven’t left the hospital. Shelby kicks me out of Austin’s room during the night, but I never make it past the waiting area. I brush my teeth in the bathroom and splash some water on my face and call it good. I’m starting to smell and am exhausted, but I’m not going home. Blanche takes care of Lilly, and I talk to her on FaceTime several times a day. Even Becky goes over and sees her for me. Last night, she took Lilly out for ice cream.
I sit in her small window with my feet propped up on the windowsill, looking over Collins. You can’t see much from here. The hospital sits on the back side of town on a cliff, facing the ocean. I’ve never really stopped to appreciate how pretty the landscape is or how it goes as far as the eye can see. It reminds me of Austin. Gorgeous to the view, but you don’t know just how dark it can get. How deep it can go. She surprised me with every turn, fought me with everything she had, and I loved it. I had thought I could take this scared little girl and turn her into my own personal game, but she ended up turning the tables on me and made me fall in love with her. She made me need her more than she ever needed me, and I hate that I couldn’t admit that to her sooner.