I should have apologized, explained that my head was all over the place. But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
Because this wasn’t like before.
This time, I couldn’t afford to fall apart. Not when my family were already holding on by a thread. This time, I had to step up to the plate and be the brother Xander needed, the son my parents needed.
This time, I had to put them first.
Hailee
“Hi, sweetheart.” My mom came to me in a dream, only when I opened my eyes, she was standing right there.
“Mom?” I pushed up, my muscles sore from sleeping on the row of plastic hospital chairs. “What time is it?”
“A little after one.”
It had been two hours since Cameron and his dad had disappeared into Karen’s room.
“I must have fallen asleep.”
She nodded. “Cameron called and asked me to come and get you.”
“He did?” I frowned, glancing down the hall where I knew he was with his parents.
“They’re going to stay with Karen. He didn’t want you to be out here all by yourself.”
“Oh, okay.” My stomach dipped.
“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go home.”
But as I got up and let her lead me away, all I could think was I was leaving my home behind in that room.
“It’s so good to see you, Hailee. I just wish it was under better circumstances.” Mom made small talk as we walked to her car. It was dark out, a blanket of stars kissing the inky sky. Such a beautiful scene for such a tragic night.
“Did Cameron say anything else?”
“Just that he didn’t want you to be alone and that you needed to get some rest too.”
I toyed with my cell phone, desperate to text him. But I knew he needed some time with his mom and dad to come to terms with everything.
“It’s such a shame. Karen is a good woman.”
“She is.”
We climbed into the car and I let my head fall against the glass, fighting the wave of tears building inside me.
“Hailee?” Mom asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I murmured.
And then I puked all over myself.
I was sick.
By the time Mom had gotten me home, I could barely stand. At first, I’d thought it was just an emotional response to everything that had happened, but I spent most of the night with my head down the toilet bowl.
“How are you feeling?” Mom slipped into my room with a glass of ice-cold water and some crackers.