Standing, I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I’m going to hang out with Diego and the guys. I’ll see you back at the apartment later.”
“Leaving so soon?” Faith shot me a smug look.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I guess it wasn’t my scene after all.”
And then I got the hell out of there.
Mya
“I should go after him.” My chest constricted as I watched Asher walk away from us. He’d been so upset, so weird over Faith’s poem.
But then, I’d screwed up earlier.
I’d seen the dejection in his eyes when I'd suggested he didn’t have to come.
God, I should never have said anything. We always spent Sunday together. And I loved it. But Faith was in a weird place and Asher was a lot like Max. When he loved, he loved with his entire being. It had taken some getting used to, being the center of his universe, but I never felt smothered.
Overwhelmed sometimes, sure, but never smothered.
“Let him go.” Faith shrugged, taking a long slurp of her drink. “You guys can kiss and make up later.”
“She’s right, you know,” Bella, our other friend, said. “A little time and space never hurt... besides, makeup sex.” She waggled her brows.
“Ugh, no thanks.” Faith rolled her eyes. “Max was always so clingy after an argument.”
“So, the poem,” I asked, changing the subject. “Was that—”
“About Max? Yeah... he was just so stifling sometimes. It was like I couldn’t breathe. He’d want to talk about our life after college, having a family and settling down...”
“He thought you were the one,” Rex said, frowning.
“I guess. But it’s college... we’re supposed to find ourselves and spread our wings. Not... clip them.”
“It’s why I stick to my three-date rule.” Bella nodded.
“But what if you met the right person?” I asked.
“Like you and Asher?” She gave me a warm smile. Unlike Faith who glowered.
“What?” I glared back.
“Asher is a nice guy, but do you really think he’s the one?”
“Faith,” Rex hissed under his breath.
“No, it’s okay,” I said, feeling a trickle of irritation up my spine. “Let her make her point.”
“All I’m saying is, you met in high school, under… difficult circumstances. You went through something huge together. That kind of trauma can bind two people together. We see it all the time in class. That shared experience can become a dependency... a crutch. But unless you give yourself time and space to come to terms with that trauma, you can’t really know who you are or what you want.”
Faith had a point. We’d studied enough about attachment, shared trauma, and trauma bonding for me to know that people often did mistake shared trauma for compatibility. But what me and Asher had wasn’t some product of our experiences.
When my ex, Jermaine, had found me in Rixon and shot Asher’s mom, part of me had felt sure Asher would never be able to forgive me. At the time, I hadn’t been sure I would ever forgive myself. But Asher loved me in spite of that. He’d done nothing but prove to me he was in.
All in.
When I didn’t answer, Faith let out an exasperated breath. “Look, all I’m saying is, we’re halfway into college. Do you really want to spend your entire college experience tied to another person who may or may not end up being the one? Because I sure as hell don’t.”