Just like Felicity had warned me, he hadn’t taken the news I was returning home for a couple of days well.
* * *
Asher: What the fuck, Mya? I thought you were done with him?
* * *
Me: I am. That’s why I have to do this. I’m not trying to hurt you and I’m not going back there to fix things with him. But I need closure. Surely you can understand that?
* * *
Asher: I don’t know what to think right now. I woke up after one of the best nights of my life to find you gone and now I find out you’re leaving town. It feels a lot like you’re running to me.
* * *
That one hurt.
Because although I hadn’t told him yet, last night had also meant something to me. More than I ever thought it would. Which is why I had to do this.
A clean break.
My thumb scrolled the messages down to my last reply, the one that had gone unanswered.
* * *
Me: You said you’d wait for me… I’m asking you to keep your word.
* * *
Dropping my head back against the headrest, I closed my eyes and let Rihanna’s lyrics wash over me. It was fitting she was singing to me about loving someone even though you hated it. Time and distance had made me realize I felt like that about Jermaine. When we’d been younger, I’d loved him the way a sister loved a brother. Then as we grew, I saw him differently. Watched him change from a kid to a young man, and my love evolved. I’d wanted him with every fiber of my being. But loving Jermaine came at a price. One that had felt worth it at first, but as time passed, became too high. And slowly, over time, my love for him twisted into something dark and ugly. A lot like the love Rihanna and Eminem began singing about.
The only difference between mine and Jermaine’s relationship, and the one in the song? I’d never loved the way he’d lied. I’d just loved him. Let my love for him blind me to the truth.
Jermaine was never going to choose me over his reputation. It was the one battle I couldn’t win, no matter how hard I fought.
My cell phone bleeped and my heart kicked up a notch, hoping to see Asher’s name flash across the screen, sinking when it wasn’t.
* * *
Shona: Where u at?
* * *
Me: Just outside Kessington. C U soon xo
* * *
Shona: We got some catchin up to do, girl. Party at mine 2nite?
* * *
Me: Shona, come on… you know I can’t b parading around like that
* * *
Shona: It’s my house. We’ll keep it low key. Besides, Jesse is home. He’ll look out for us. Plsssss. I’ve missed you, girl…
* * *