“Do you realize how bigoted you sound right now?”
“I don’t—”
“I left my home, my very diverse neighborhood, and moved to the ass crack of nowhere where football is religion and I’m one of only a handful of kids to walk the halls at school who don’t fit the white profile.”
Asher straightened, his expression hardening. If I didn’t know better, I would have said he looked possessive. But that opened a whole other can of worms I wasn’t ready for.
“Has someone said something to you?” he asked. “Because if they have—”
Leaning back against the counter, I let out an exasperated breath. “Asher, listen to what I’m saying. It isn’t about what people are or aren’t doing or saying…” It was, but that wasn’t the point right now. “It’s about how alienating it can feel for someone who wasn’t born here, who isn’t white, to try to assimilate while staying true to their roots.”
Asher’s brows crinkled as he quietly processed my words. I didn’t want to have this conversation, especially not with him. But over the last few weeks, Asher had wormed his way into my life. Whether I’d wanted him to or not.
“I guess I didn’t think…” He dragged a hand down his face.
“It’s okay. It’s tough being a Raider.” I teased, wanting nothing more than to deflect the limelight away from me.
“You’d tell me though, right, if someone did say anything to you about… you know?”
“About the fact I’m a Latina girl from the hood?”
“You are so much more than that, Mya.” His eyes burned with something I’d seen before. At first, it had been when he looked at Felicity. But then his sights had shifted from her to me, right around the time she and Jason became more than just two people who liked to drive each other crazy.
I still didn’t know how I felt about it.
Dropping my gaze, I ran my finger over the worn wooden countertops. My aunt had opened her door to me without question; welcoming me into her home and heart. She didn’t say the words, but I think she saw a lot of her younger self in me. A girl desperate to escape. Only I never wanted to escape. I just knew I couldn’t stay there anymore without losing a part of myself.
So here I was in Rixon. Hiding. Pretending everything was okay. Trying to outrun a past that I knew would one day catch up with me.
“You are so fucking beautiful it hurts.”
My eyes snapped to Asher’s and he cussed under his breath. “Shit, Mya, I didn’t… I mean, I did, but I didn’t. Fuck.”
“I think you should go,” I said calmly, giving no hint at the band of horses galloping through my chest.
“It just came out
. I didn’t… Let’s rewind. Pretend I never said it.”
“Asher.” I gave him a pointed look, fighting a smile. “You don’t think I’m beautiful?”
“What? No… I do. Of course, I do, but I thought…” Asher cussed again. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”
My lip curved in a faint smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
He stood up, an apology dancing in his eyes. “Don’t let this make things weird between us, Hernandez. I can appreciate a beautiful woman even if I know she belongs to someone else.”
“I don’t—”
“It’s written all over your face. Besides, Hailee and Flick talk. A lot.”
“They told you about—”
“They wouldn’t do that, no. But sometimes I hear things… see things,” he said cryptically. “Whoever he is, he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Yeah, and what makes you say that?” I lifted my chin ready to defend Jermaine. I guess some habits were harder to kick than others.
“Because he let you run. And if you were mine, I’d chase you to the ends of the Earth before I ever gave you up.”