The person behind Rixon’s golden boy of football.
I couldn’t even remember the person I was before. Before Varsity football, and state records; before being scouted by some of the best colleges in the country. Most people spent their whole lives chasing their dreams, trying to turn fantasy into reality. Yet, here I was, barely eighteen, with the whole world at my feet. My dreams were right there for the taking. It should have been the best fucking time of my life and it had been until recently. Until I started to care. But I couldn’t afford to care. I couldn’t afford to open myself up to distractions. To make myself vulnerable. Not now. Not when I was so close.
Later that evening, I found myself in the last place I wanted to be: riding with Hailee in awkward as fuck silence. She didn’t mention Felicity and I didn’t ask. I figured her lack of third degree meant Felicity was keeping secrets from her best friend, which suited me just fine.
“Thanks for helping me do this,” she finally said as we pulled up outside the side entrance to the Arts Department.
“Yeah, well, Coach gave me no choice.” I dragged a hand down my face.
“I see.” Her expression hardened. “I just thought... It doesn’t matter, come on.” Hailee climbed out of my car and I let out a heavy sigh, thumping the wheel. It wasn’t supposed to sound so bitter, but it was too late now. Reluctantly, I shouldered the door and followed Hailee into the building.
“So there are nine portraits in total,” she said without looking at me. “Each one has been wrapped for transportation and Coach and Mr. Jalin already took the display equipment over to his house.
“Got it.” The Arts Studio wasn’t a part of school I was familiar with, but Hailee seemed completely at ease as she guided us through the network of adjoining rooms. The air was thick with the smell of paint and cleaning fluid.
“It takes some getting used to.”
Silence settled between us. But it felt suffocating.
“So art, huh? Cameron says you’re pretty good.”
“I hope so since it would be kind of embarrassing if Coach unveils the portraits and they resemble children’s artwork.” Her lips curved slightly, and I found myself smiling back.
“I guess it was a dumb question.”
“Not dumb,” she gave me a half-smile. “I know this is weird for you, Jason. Me being a part of your life. But it would make things a lot easier if we could at least try to get along?”
“It’d really piss our parents off.” I smirked. But Hailee’s smile was gone. “You want to forgive her?”
“I don’t want to forgive her, no, but I don’t know how much longer I can freeze her out. It’s senior year. I leave for college next year.” Sadness edged into her expression.
“So, what? They get a free pass just because we’re flying the nest?”
“Jason,” Hailee pinched the bridge of her nose. “Don’t you find it exhausting all the time?” When I looked at her with a blank expression, she added, “Holding onto so much hate and bitterness?”
“I don’t hate everything.”
She gave me a pointed look and I felt my jaw clench. “You don’t know what it’s like to never know someone’s motives, to not know who you can trust,” I said. “People think it’s so easy being the hotshot football player, but do you know how old I was when scouts first started approaching me?”
“Thirteen?”
“Eleven. I was in sixth grade. While most kids were playing king of the hill and capture the flag, I was running drills and working with my dad on conditioning programs.” Because there was no other path for me. I was going to fulfill his dream whether I liked it or not.
“I had no idea—”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shrugged dismissively, kicking the floor with my sneaker. “By the time you arrived in Rixon, I’d caught the eye of four Division One teams. Four. People started taking notice. Suddenly my life wasn’t my own; it was my old man’s, my football coach’s, even the town’s. When all I wanted was to play football.”
I always loved the game, that was never the issue. But I hadn’t realized back then, that one day, it would mean shouldering the expectation of an entire town.
A flicker of sympathy passed over Hailee’s face.
“Shit, you don’t want to hear this, we should probably—”
“Thank you,” she said, “For telling me.”
Why had I told her?
It was a long time ago and I wasn’t a kid anymore. Being in the spotlight came with the territory, and the light would only get brighter when I went to college. To survive you had to build walls. Maybe I’d built them higher than others, but it was only because I wanted it more than most.