“Really?” His brow shot up. “Because when I think about it, it’s exactly the kind of crazy shit he would pull.”
“He’s a good friend.”
Jason opened the passenger door for me and I slipped inside, waiting for him to get in. Once the door slammed shut behind him, the air in the car turned thick. “Do you wish it’d been him?”
“What?” I asked taken aback.
“Do you ever wish it was him you’d fallen for?”
“No.” I didn’t even need to think about it. “There was never a choice, Jason. You don’t get to choose who you fall in love with.”
“You love me, Giles?” His eyes slid to mine, dark and uncertain and so vulnerable it
made my heart melt.
“I love you so much it terrifies me.”
“Good.” He leaned across and kissed me. “We can be terrified together.”
Ten minutes later, Jason pulled up to his house, and cut the engine. “Nervous?” he asked, reaching over and tangling our hands together.
“Nervous? What could I possibly have to be nervous about? I’ve been in your house more times than I can count. Hailee’s mom loves me.” It came out smug despite the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
“No one’s home, babe.” His smooth laughter filled the car.
“Oh,” I stuttered, heat spreading through me. “Where are they all?”
“Hailee’s with Cameron, and Denise and my dad are off doing whatever the fuck they like to do on an evening. The house is ours for at least the next four hours.”
“Oh.” This time I gulped.
“Hey,” Jason’s hands glided up my arm until he was brushing my neck. “You good?”
“Yeah.” I blinked over at him. This was Jason. Nothing I hadn’t already experienced—and survived—before.
“No pressure, okay?” His eyes searched mine. “We can go in there and watch TV and eat our body weight in chips. Or we can go in there and do homework. I just really, really want to go in there... with you.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, finding the courage to step out of his car. I don’t know why I was so nervous suddenly. I’d let him claim me in front of half our class today at school. But this felt different.
This felt like coming out to each other, and after everything we’d been through, there was a little voice at the back of my mind whispering for me to be careful. To not jump in headfirst with him in case he had a sudden change of heart.
But it was too late.
I was already in deep waters hoping Jason would throw me a life raft.
Hoping he would be my life raft.
We entered the house in silence. It was the same four walls, the same collection of gaudy ornaments lining the shelves, and family photos Hailee’s mom had scattered over the walls. Everything was exactly the same.
But I was different.
We were different.
“Is this weird for you?” Jason asked, no doubt sensing my hesitation.