“I’m happy for you. I don’t know Max well, but I like him a lot, and I’ve had a good feeling about the two of you from the beginning. You may not understand hockey, and he might not know much about running a company like you do, but you have a lot of the important stuff in common, like self-awareness and ambition. Gabriel always thought he was ambitious, but there’s a big difference between wanting things from life and being willing to put yourself out there to make it happen, you know?”
I nodded. “Max would never get upset because I wanted to work sixty hours a week. He’d try his best to distract me, but he’d also be excited to hear what I was working on.”
We pulled up in front of my building, and Maggie double-parked. “So where does this leave things with Gabriel?”
I sighed. “I have feelings for him. I can’t deny that. We have a long history together, and there was a time I was sure he was right for me. But now I know I’d rather take a chance on Max than be with Gabriel, even if he is willing to commit to me and is coming home in six months, and Max is moving three-thousand miles away.”
“Welp, you know the old saying. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If not, go fuck yourself because you were an idiot for letting it go in the first place.”
I laughed. “I feel like that should be a new message option on one of our cards.”
“Damn straight. I’m poetic.” She smiled. “So what’s your plan? I know you have one. Because God forbid you make a decision and not have a twelve-page, outlined work plan for how to execute it ready in your head.”
“I need to talk to Gabriel first—tell him we aren’t on the same page, that I don’t want an open or closed relationship with him anymore.”
“And Max?”
“I’m praying he and I are on the same page. There would obviously be a lot of logistics to figure out. But maybe he can stay with me in the offseason, and we can take turns visiting during.”
“I don’t want to be a downer, but it’s my job as co-pilot to make sure we’re ready for takeoff. So what happens if you break things off with Gabriel, and Max says he doesn’t think long distance will work?”
I shook my head. “I become a workaholic spinster?”
Maggie smirked. “Good safety net.”
I reached for the door handle. “Thank you for driving today. My mind needed the time to wander.”
“No worries. Mine wanders while I’m driving. I don’t even remember getting on the bridge.”
I laughed. “I’ll probably be a little late tomorrow so I can call Gabriel from home. It’s not going to be an easy conversation.”
“Alright. I’ll hold down the fort. Stop by my office when you get in to let me know how it goes.”
• • •
“What if we keep things the way they have been? Just leave our relationship open and see where we are when I get back? I won’t see other people if you don’t want me to.” Gabriel paused. “Please, Georgia. Give me another chance. I know I fucked up.”
The emotion in his voice made my insides twist. But I had to remain steadfast to be fair to both of us. It would be so easy to say sure, let’s continue with an open relationship and then keep Gabriel on ice while I see how things pan out with Max. But I needed to give things with Max my all, and that meant having all of me to give.
“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I really am. But it’s best that we make a clean break at this point.”
“Do you…not love me anymore?” His voice cracked.
“You’ll always have a piece of my heart, because I gave that to you. But love can change.”
“God, I really fucked up. If I hadn’t left…”
“I’m not sure that’s true. I think any love that has the word if involved with it may not be the kind of love that lasts. True love should always be even though or in spite of, never if I hadn’t.”
“Did that hockey player make you choose?”
“Max doesn’t even know I’m making a choice.”
Gabriel went quiet. “I don’t know what’s left to say, but I don’t want to say goodbye because I feel like I might never get to speak to you again.”
He wasn’t wrong. We were breaking up. People always say they’ll keep in touch, but it rarely happens. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I really am.”
“Promise me something?”
“What?”
“If you’re single when I get back, for whatever reason, you’ll let me take you to dinner, even if just as friends.”
I sighed. “Sure.”
“I love you, Georgia.”
“Goodbye, Gabriel.”
• • •
I waited until the early afternoon to call Max.
My heart had felt heavy after I’d hung up with Gabriel, and I’d needed some time to shake that gloomy feeling. But as the hours passed, I went from feeling sad to really damn nervous. I’d ended things with a man I cared about to take a chance with one I wasn’t even sure felt as strongly as I did.