But then Frankie’s face pales, and her eyes widen as if she’s appalled at something. “Oh my God,” she exclaims apologetically. “That does not in any way diminish what you’ve been through. You’ve obviously been through way worse than Sophie. I’m only speaking from my perspective of my friend. I would never think to make you feel—”
“Stop,” I say, reassuring her with an amused laugh. “It’s okay. I’m not interested in what you think about me or what I went through. I’m genuinely interested to know your thoughts about Sophie.”
Frankie looks relieved by my quick acceptance of her apology, but then her eyes ice a little as she goes back into mama-bear mode. “Sophie’s not the same person she was before the attack, but you can’t quite understand that because you didn’t know her before. What you see now is a muted Sophie—and that muted Sophie likes you. As a friend, maybe more. I can see it. I just don’t want her to fail your expectations or her own. I don’t want her to be wooed by some hero worship of you, and I don’t want her to develop feelings—friendship or otherwise—that won’t be returned.”
“You don’t want her hurt,” I conclude.
“I’d kill you if you did,” she warns.
I disregard the threat. “I think I understand what you mean by a muted Sophie. You’re not talking about her personality, which I find brighter than the sun.”
Frankie shakes her head, lips curving. “No… I’m not talking about her personality. I’m talking about her life.”
Sophie has shared quite a bit with me as I have shared quite a bit about my own journey since the attack. I think I have a handle on how she suffered and how she is still suffering.
But I defer to Frankie’s explanation.
“It’s been months now she’s been living under a dark cloud of fear, and she’s secluded herself away from almost everyone and everything. And now you show up and push her out of her comfort zone and give her a peek at a normal life, and I’m afraid that it could skew her feelings. Does that make sense?”
I can’t help but nod. “Our circumstances aren’t normal. There is no playbook for this.”
Frankie nods and leans in a little. Her eyes lock with mine. “What exactly do you feel for Sophie?”
I take a moment to look around the crowded bar and restaurant while I gather my thoughts. I’m not sure I could adequately reflect what she’s asking in the few moments we have before Sophie returns.
So I simplify it as best and as honestly as I can.
“I don’t know what this is. I wasn’t expecting to have a friendship with her, and that happened. I wasn’t expecting to care about her well-being and recovery, but that’s happened. I didn’t expect to like her as a person, and that sure as hell happened. There’s something there. I don’t know what, though.”
“Is this only friendship?” Frankie’s face is pinched with what I assume is worry. “Is that all it will be to you?”
“The friendship is deep already. But there’s something else. I think there’s more… I just don’t know what.”
Frankie nods, and she looks more concerned than ever. I expect if I’d told her there was nothing but friendship on my mind, she would feel better about the situation. But I can’t tell her that.
Just as I can’t explain exactly how I feel about Sophie since it’s not anything I’ve ever experienced before.
In only a week, I’ve been able to bare my vulnerabilities to this woman. I’ve told her things I couldn’t even tell my best friend, Wes, after I got injured. This might be fate, for all I know, and perhaps I’ll never understand it.
But I’m also attracted to Sophie in a myriad of ways.
Sexually, for sure.
Because she’s gorgeous as sin? Yeah, that’s part of the attraction.
But I’ve had that type of attraction before, and it’s never been anything to get excited about. Certainly never anything to invest feelings in.
So much of my attraction to her comes from the person she is. She’s genuine and humble. The guilt she has over what happened to me means she has an empathetic soul. Those things are special and only deepen the physical aspect of my attraction.
But there’s one big problem.
I don’t want to scare Sophie, so I don’t know if I could ever make a move without knowing how she feels.
There’s no better opportunity than this moment to see if I can figure it out. “What does Sophie feel for me?” I ask Frankie bluntly.
Frankie grins and shakes her head. “That is absolutely something I refuse to tell you. I would never betray my best friend’s confidence.”
“You don’t exactly know, do you?” I tease.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t,” she replies. “But whatever I know, I won’t tell you. You’ll have to figure it out on your own.”