It was such a painful meeting while my parents waited down in the lobby. Baden could barely look at me. Conversation was one-sided with me rambling my gratitude and only ended when he said he was tired.
The absolution I needed was not given, and I remain a prisoner of my own guilt and self-flagellation.
The kettle shrills on the stove, and I prepare my tea, setting it aside to steep. When it’s ready, I’ll hit the computer and start looking for a new job. I hope I can find something fast before my parents hear I’m unemployed. Otherwise, they’ll pressure me to join the family business. Trust me when I say I have no desire to work there. I love my mom and dad to distraction, but there’s no way I want to sell furniture for a living.
My phone rings again, and before I can reach for it, I wonder if it’s James calling me back to tell me he’s had a change of heart. When I see the caller ID, my heart sinks not only because it’s not James but because it’s a Phoenix area code, and that can only mean one thing.
I don’t want to answer, but I know I must. “Hello.”
“Sophie… this is Detective Gilmore.” I recognize his voice as he’s been leading the investigation into the attack. We’ve talked quite a bit over the past seven months.
“Hi.” I cringe, waiting to see what type of news he’ll deliver. No matter what it’s regarding, it will traumatize me all over again. I just want it all to go away.
“We have two more suspects,” he says gently, because he knows even though this should be good news, it’s hard on me. “I know you don’t want to come here, so I’m going to need you to do another photo lineup down at your local precinct.”
I’ve been through this drill before with the first suspect they brought in. I wouldn’t travel back to Phoenix for an in-person lineup, so they sent the suspect’s photo to the Pittsburgh Police Department. They, in turn, let me come in and look at the photo alongside five other mug shots of similar-looking men to make it fair. I couldn’t make a positive identification, and I felt like such a failure.
“Sophie,” Detective Gilmore says, “can you do that? Go down to the precinct? I’ve already sent the photos, and you can see the same officer who helped you last time… Josh Kapersky.”
“Um, yes… I can do that,” I say, even though I want to tell him to leave me alone and leave me out of all this. And yet, I can’t help but ask, “Did Mr. Oulett do the lineup yet?”
“I’m actually calling him next,” he replies casually.
He offers me no other information, and I’m too scared to ask. Detective Gilmore would know how Baden is doing, but I’m afraid to know the answer.
“I’ll go to the precinct today, Detective.” I’ll do my part, which I know will ultimately be very little. I can’t remember much about that day; my therapist says I’ve blocked it out.
But I’ll try.
He thanks me and we disconnect.
With a sigh, I call my dad to see if he’ll drive me downtown.
CHAPTER 3
Baden
I’m late to the party, but I have a good excuse. I received an unexpected call a few hours ago from Detective Gilmore at the Phoenix PD. They had two more suspects to my beating in custody, and they wanted me to come down to look at a photo lineup.
About three weeks ago, I successfully identified one of my attackers, and his arrest had apparently led Detective Gilmore to these potential suspects.
My trip to the police station was somewhat successful. From two separate lineups, I was able to identify another one of my attackers. Like the one I’d picked out a few weeks ago, this guy was easy to remember. When I came upon the men attacking Sophie, I was able to pull her free from two of them. They immediately turned on me, and the one I identified today had a knife in his hand. He slashed out too fast for me to avoid, and the blade cut me from temple to jaw. I didn’t even feel it, but I did feel the rush of blood pouring out. Then the knife went into my stomach, and that I felt. I was staring right at the guy when he pulled it out, so yeah, I remembered him with clarity.
It was then that I yelled for Sophie to run, and the last thing I remember was the indecision on her face before pain exploded in the back of my head and my world went dark.
I was not able to identify anyone in the second lineup today because the third attacker hit me from behind, so I never saw him. The doctors didn’t know if he used a tire iron or a crowbar, but they found flecks of rusted metal in the head wound and embedded into the skull fracture. It created a minor brain bleed, which is what threw me into blessed unconsciousness.