I stand there speechless as he closes the small space between us. His right hand comes up, and he slides his fingers into my hair. I stare up at him at a complete loss while his eyes roam my face.
“You knew what you were doing, Austin. And I told you, you were going to hate me in the morning, but you didn’t seem to care one bit.”
“I didn’t know you were going to record it,” I say as angry tears start to sting my eyes. My body shakes, and my throat begins to close up.
He lowers his mouth to my ear. “It’s not my fault you spread your legs for the devil, sweetheart. That’s all on you.”
“You set me up.” I choke on the words.
He chuckles. “I did no such thing. You went to a party. You got drunk, and then you dared me.” He pulls back, and his eyes stare into mine. I refuse to blink, to let the tears fall. I’m stronger than this. “You dared me to hurt you.” He runs his busted knuckles over my cheek. He lowers his face where his lips almost touch mine. “And I did.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, trying not to show him just how much. “You had no right …”
“Even if I hadn’t had Deke record it, everyone there still heard you, sweetheart.”
I swallow the knot in my throat and look away. I hate that he’s right. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have dared him. I shouldn’t have played into his little fucking game. I’ve been pushing back just as much as he has, but I’m the one who seems to lose every time. He has help. He’s got a team on his side. I have no one.
“And it’s not like you didn’t enjoy it.”
I whimper at his words and whisper, “Go to hell, Cole.”
His hand grips my hair, and he moves my head, forcing me to look up at him. His blue eyes search mine. They shine. He lowers his lips and smiles against mine. I don’t dare move. “Sweetheart, I am hell.”
I hate how right he is. “Please go.” I swallow what pride I have left and beg him to leave.
He releases my hair, and his hand moves to cup my face. I try to swallow the knot in my throat. “I’ll see you in the morning.” He leans down, kisses my forehead, and then walks out. I throw myself onto my bed and scream into my pillow.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
COLE
I stand outside her door as I hear her muffled scream. She’s breaking. Every day, I’m dragging her closer to the edge of no return. But in order to get her to fall, I’m gonna have to drag her. I won’t be able to save myself, and we’re both gonna hit fucking bottom.
Minutes later, I walk into my father’s house and go straight up to Lilly’s room. Her pink kitty lamp is on next to her bed, and she is sound asleep. I turn it off, and the only light comes from her nightlight.
Leaning down, I kiss her forehead and then walk out, leaving her door cracked open. I head to my bedroom, strip out of my clothes, and slide on my board shorts, then make my way down to the pool.
I dive in and the cold night air burns my skin when I come up for a breath.
Kellan is becoming a bigger problem every day that goes by. And I don’t know what to do about it or what he has planned. He knows about our final dare. The one we have planned for graduation night. I wonder how much he has told Celeste about what we do. People in this town know we destroy shit. We’ve been daring each other to do stupid shit since we were little kids. But when I was sixteen, Eli dared me to steal my father’s car and run it into the creek. I did it three hours later. I hated that car, and he fucking loved it. It was his baby. His beloved. Nothing mattered other than that car.
He never found out it was me. He was in a pissy mood for months, and I loved it.
The dares just snowballed from there. We got a system down, and it worked for us. Eight boys whose parents had money and could get away with anything. We did it all. Well, not murder. We just progressed to that recently.
I go back underwater and do a lap. Then another. I’m tired and exhausted when I finally get out. The time on my phone reads 1:05 a.m. I dry off, and thoughts of Austin enter my mind.
I need more from her.
I smile when I think of why I’m doing this to her. Because I can. It’s that fucking simple. It’s like she forgets she has no one. Except me.