He nods. “Yes. She never came out and said it, but she didn’t have to.” I look down at my hands. “I let Celeste keep her at times, but Bruce was never home when I allowed that. Except with you.”
“What?” I frown, looking back up at him.
He cups my cheek. “I didn’t tell you about her. And at first, I didn’t want you to spend time with her. Afraid Lilly would get attached and it would hurt her when you left.” I swallow at that. “But as time passed, I wanted you to spend as much time with Lilly as possible, so I let her go home with you even when Bruce was there because I knew without a doubt that you would protect her, Austin. You didn’t need to know she was your sister to keep her safe.”
“With my life,” I say without thought. I may have not known Lilly was my sister, but I love that little girl. And even when my dad was home, and I had Lilly, he never came around us. Never even looked at her in passing. He acted as if she didn’t exist.
He leans in and kisses my forehead. “I know.”
Tears start to well in my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Cole. For what Bruce did to your mother.” My chest tightens. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t know about Lilly sooner. I could have helped …” My voice cracks. “I could have come back here. I should have …” I choke on the words.
He reaches out and pulls me to him. I bury my face into his shirt and inhale that scent that I’ve missed the past two weeks. “It’s not your fault, Austin.” He kisses my hair. “You didn’t know.” He sighs. “I was afraid of losing her. To you. To Bruce. Even Celeste held her over my head. She helped me raise her the first few years. I was twelve when she was born and knew nothing about babies. My dad didn’t want her and neither did Bruce. But I wanted her. She was part of me.” He smiles softly at me. “Part of my mom.”
The first tear falls down my cheek. He wipes it away with a small smile. “But you’re here now, Austin. And I don’t plan on you going anywhere.”
“I …” I pause, not knowing what to say.
“What is it, sweetheart?” he asks softly.
I shake my head and pull away from him. “What is your end game?’
“What?” he asks, standing.
I wipe the tears from my face and look up at him. “What do you want from me?” My heart pounds at those words. That his answer isn’t gonna be what I want to hear.
He frowns.
I stand. “No more games, Cole. Now more secrets. And no more lies. Just tell me …” I let out a long breath. “What is it that you want from me?” He’s gonna break my heart, and I deserve it because I allowed it. You don’t fall in love with a man like him and expect him to feel the same about you. It doesn’t work that way.
He cups my face with both of his hands. “I want you, Austin. That is not a lie.”
“You want to break me—”
“Not anymore,” he interrupts me. “I did want that, yes. But it’s no longer enough.”
“What does that mean?” I whisper.
He pushes his body into me. He tilts my head back, and he lowers his lips to mine. A simple kiss that takes my breath away. This man has taken so much from me already. I’m not sure I have anything else to give.
“I want you to want me. I want you to need me.” His eyes search mine. “Because that’s how I feel about you. I’m not the same since I met you. You have bled for me, but I’m starving for you. People say when you meet the one you love, that person can calm you down. Make you better.” He shakes his head. “You fucking fan my flames. You make me feel invincible.” He sighs heavily. “You deserve better than me,” he whispers, placing his head against mine, “but I’m too selfish to let you go.”
I give him a soft smile. “I want you just the way you are.” He pulls away. I cup his cheek. This man is the devil himself, but I’ve never been afraid of hell. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
He gently kisses my lips. “What about Kellan?” I ask, knowing we have a long way to go. And that he is pissed at me.
“Everything is gonna be all right, Austin. Trust me.”
As my eyes search his, I realize just how much I want him to be right. “I trust you, Cole,” I say, licking my wet lips, tasting my tears.
He watches the motion and leans forward but comes to a stop with his lips inches from mine. I lean in, closing the distance and pressing mine to his. His fingers slide into my hair, and I moan into his mouth as his tongue meets mine. That familiar feeling that only he can give me starts to build, and I wrap my arms around his neck.