Helga turned to listen yet again to Rollo as he calmed the crowd and spoke of the Viking’s character and his honor, of the advantages they would gain allied to the king of Norway. Rollo did not mention that it had been that same king who had outlawed him some years before. Merrik had carried the still-unconscious Laren through the thick draperies behind Rollo’s throne. Helga didn’t listen to Rollo, it was all nonsense in any case. She listened to the questions put to Rollo from high-ranking families, but she was picturing the Viking in her mind. He was a beautiful man.
Was she not a beautiful woman?
Was his wife not pregnant, fainting like a weakling and probably vomiting up her guts in front of him? Laren was also still too thin, scarcely looking like a female, save for the red hair in those stingy braids. Surely no man could willingly wish to bed such a stick as she was. Surely she had not the skills to please such a man as this Merrik Haraldsson.
Why, Helga wondered, listening to that ass, Weland, respond to Raki, a man of little intellect and great strength, nearly as great as Weland’s, hadn’t Rollo told them what had happened to Laren? She herself was very interested. She wanted to know how this Merrik had met Laren. Had he killed Taby once he’d learned who they were, guessing that he could take the child’s place in Rollo’s plans?
She looked back at Rollo, seeing him as a man, not just as her uncle. He was still handsome, still more forceful and stubborn as a pig, but he was old, so very many years sitting on his still-broad shoulders, too many years. She wondered idly what she would do.
22
MERRIK HELD HER head as she vomited into the basin. She was shuddering with the effort, her skin clammy and cold. She’d eaten little that morning because she’d been so nervous, and now she was heaving and jerking, but there was naught left in her belly save the twisting, grinding cramps.
“I shouldn’t have told you,” he said as he pulled her sweat-damp hair from her face. “You were feeling well in your ignorance.”
“Aye,” she said. “I would bless both you and my ignorance if only it would return.”
He gave her a mug of ale. She washed out her mouth, moaned and clutched her stomach again, then, to his relief, eased. “I don’t like this,” she said, looking at him with less than adoration. “You did this to me.”
“Aye, it is a man’s duty,” he said, grinning at her. “Come.” He lifted her to her feet and then into his arms. He carried her to the wide box bed and laid her down. He straightened the beautiful gown Ileria had made for her, not wanting to wrinkle it overly. He sat beside her, wishing indeed that he’d kept his mouth shut. How could her suddenly knowing she was carrying his babe make her ill? It seemed incomprehensible to him, yet she’d turned white and fainted dead away, in front of all Rollo’s people.
If he could have planned it, it couldn’t have been done better.
She opened her eyes as he covered her with a woolen blanket. “I don’t like you at this moment, Merrik.”
He leaned down and kissed her nose.
“How do you know so much about babes and such?”
“When a man can take a woman for weeks without having to stop, she is either too exhausted to say him nay, or pregnant with his babe.”
She sent her fist into his arm. He grabbed her fist, smoothed out her hand, and kissed her palm. “Thank you, Laren, for my child.”
“It is my child.”
“It is my seed and without my seed there would be no child.”
“I take your seed and nurture it into life. Without me there would be no child.”
He smiled at her. “You are right.”
“You’re just saying that because I feel so wretched.”
“Aye. Get well again so that I can argue freely with you and not suffer guilt.”
She said suddenly, sitting up, “I feel fine now. Isn’t that odd?”
She fell silent, queried her body, then said, “Aye, ’tis true, there is no more faintness, no more illness. My belly is happy.”
“I hope it stays happier than poor Otta’s.” He pulled her into his arms, and held her, kissing her ear, smoothing the tangles from her hair with his fingers, pressing her cheek against his shoulder. “All will be well, you will see. Trust me in what I am doing.”
“I don’t like it,” she said again. “You are now in danger, Merrik. I cannot like that.”
“You can protect me when you’re not on your knees with your face in a bucket.”
She chuckled and it made him feel immensely relieved. He was kissing her when Rollo came running into the sleeping chamber. He was so tall he had to bend to get through the doorway without hitting his head.
“Is she all right?”