“That’s better. What makes you think there was no pleasure for me? I watched you climax, Joan. I watched your eyes get bluer, if that’s possible, then grow dim and vague and it was quite charming. Indeed, I felt your pleasure, for you were trembling beneath my fingers and moaning and when you made those cries in my mouth I assure you I wanted to howl with masculine pleasure. Along with you.”
“But you didn’t,” she said, slipping into her chair.
He gave her a look that was completely unreadable to her and said as matter-of-factly as a fifty-year husband, “Should you like some porridge?”
“Just toast, I think.”
He nodded and rose to serve her. “No, remain seated. I want you strong again.”
He poured her coffee and set her toast in front of her. Then, without warning, he grasped her chin in his hand and lifted her face. He kissed her, long and hard, then very gently. When he released her, her eyes were vague and dazzled and she was leaning against him, her arms loose at her sides.
“Philip told me he would forgive you for lying to him if you asked him nicely,” he said, and walked back to the end of the table. “It appears he understands you very well. He said that you would walk through fire to save me, thus a lie was nothing if it served your cause in serving me.”
She stared at him. Philip was a smart boy. She continued to stare at Colin, at his mouth. A word of affection would have been nice, she thought. Perhaps an endearment. Perhaps an acknowledgment that he was touched that she loved him. She tasted him on her own mouth. She just looked at him helplessly, all that she felt on her face.
He gave her a pained smile that vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Eat, Joan.” His expression remained unreadable, the sod.
She chewed on her toast, wondering why God, in his infinite wisdom, had created men to be so very different from women.
“I also wished to tell you that I intend to question Aunt Arleth this morning. If she was the source Robert MacPherson claims told him I killed Fiona, then I will get the truth out of her.”
“Somehow I can’t believe it was her. But she does cherish an amazing dislike for you. But then again, she heartily disliked Fiona. It was only your father and your brother she loved, if I understand what worked its way out of her mouth. Actually, Aunt Arleth makes little sense at the best of times. Remember all her talk about a kelpie being your father? She’s very strange.”
“It doesn’t matter. Once I’ve either confirmed or rejected her part in this, she’s leaving Vere Castle, her strangeness with her.”
“She has no money, Colin.”
“As I told you, she has family and I’ve already sent her brother a message. He and his family live near Pitlochry, in the central Highlands. They have no choice but to provide her a home. I’m sorry she behaved as she did toward you.”
Nearly killed me dead, truth be told, Sinjun started to say, then stopped. It didn’t matter now. She would soon be gone. She said, “If she wasn’t Robert MacPherson’s source, then who was?”
“I don’t know, but I will find out. In the meantime, as you know, Robbie has promised to keep his men in control as well as himself. He’s promised to speak to his father and to listen to him, really listen. Don’t mistake me, Joan, if he attempts more violence against any of us or against any of our people, I will kill him. He knows it. Perhaps he will seek to be reasonable now.”
“Serena is his sister. It makes more sense that she would have accused you to him.”
He looked amused and vain as a very young man with his first compliment from a lady. “Oh no. Serena loves me. At least she’s told me so countl
ess times, and all those times since I married you. I’m also seeing that she returns to her father.”
“Goodness, the castle will be bare! Please, Colin, it isn’t necessary. Serena is an odd duck, perhaps daft, but harmless. If she tries to kiss you again, though, perhaps I will have to speak to her.”
Colin laughed. “She doesn’t realize how ferocious you are, how possessive of me you are. I should tell her that she isn’t safe around you if she touches me again. She should request that I send her back to her father. Now that you’re here for the children, there’s no need for either of those ladies. Do you agree?”
“I quite agree,” Sinjun said.
“Everything is happening now,” he continued after a moment. “The sheep will be arriving within the next two days—not sheep to force our people off their lands, just enough to provide enough raw wool and milk. And the cattle, naturally, enough for all our people. I have also called a meeting of all my crofters and tenants. My proposition is that they will go from one croft to the next. I will furnish all the supplies and equipment we need. We will make all necessary repairs, from roofs to fences to bed frames. There will be no more want or uncertainty for the Kinross clan. Thank you, Joan.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, and swallowed. He’d spoken to her like his partner. “Why are you telling me all this?”
He was silent for a moment. He took a spoonful of porridge and chewed thoughtfully. “It’s your money that allows all this. It’s only proper you know its disposition.”
She felt a streak of disappointment, for his voice was cool and dismissive, but she managed to say calmly enough, “Tell me what to do. The household is shaping up quite nicely, but there is still much repair to be done. I also need gardeners.”
“Yes, Alex has already filled my ears with what needs to be done outside. I shouldn’t be surprised to find her out there weeding around the rosebushes. She was very impassioned about it. You will speak to Mr. Seton. He will bring men to you to interview. It will all take time, but time is something we now have. The creditors are no longer breathing down my neck. We are afloat; indeed, we are rowing smartly forward. We will make up that infamous list together quite soon. Now, Douglas and Ryder wish me to take them around and show them what we’re doing. They wish to meet some of our people. Should you like to accompany us?”
She looked at her husband. He was including her. Did he finally understand she wouldn’t steal his box and this was the proof of it? No, probably not. It was her money, as he’d said. He didn’t want her to feel excluded. He was being kind. Blessed hell, but she hated kindness from him; kindness was a bloodless emotion.
“No, not this time,” she said, tossing her napkin on her plate and rising. “I wish to visit with the children, particularly Philip. I owe him an apology, and since he is very much your son, I imagine he will make me grovel before absolving me.”