Very slowly, she lowered the covers to his feet, then she simply stared at him for a very long time. She finally flattened her palm on his hard belly just at the instant before he believed he would yell with the need for her to touch him. “You’re beautiful, Colin.”
He couldn’t help it. He moaned, even as he pressed upward. When her fingers lightly touched him, he quivered like a raw young boy.
He held himself rigid, his hands fisted at his sides. “Touch me, Joan. With your mouth.”
She stared at him again, then lightly closed her hand around him. She eased down on her knees beside him, her hair cascading over his belly, but he didn’t notice the beauty of it, the warmth of it, because he was focused on his sex and on her mouth. He felt her hot breath and nearly died from the intense pleasure. When she lightly nipped at him, he very nearly yelled.
“You’re very different from me,” she said, and caressed him; oh, it was tentative, but that made it all the more seductive. “I could never be as beautiful as you.” He wanted to tell her that was nonsense, but he was silent, straining, wanting so much for her to take him into her mouth, but she didn’t, not understanding, really, but she would learn, and he wanted her to do things at her own pace. She experimented and he squirmed and wanted to groan, but held his mouth shut, not wanting to frighten her.
When she finally took him into her mouth, he knew he couldn’t control himself. The nearly painful sensations that rocketed through him shook him deeply. He had to stop this. He had no intention of shocking her or repelling her, and thus, even though he felt more frenzied, more urgent than he ever had in his life, he pulled her away.
She twisted about to look at him and her hair tumbled over his belly and chest. “Didn’t I do it right?”
He looked into her beautiful Sherbrooke blue eyes and tried to smile—not much of a success that smile, but he tried. “I’m a man, Joan, and it’s difficult for me. Now, no more questions. Settle here, against me, and let’s go to sleep.”
She nestled against him, her palm over his racing heart. She said nothing. Finally, his heart began to slow. She kissed his chest, then said, “I’ll try to do things properly, Colin, and touching you with my hands and my mouth is quite nice, really, for you are so splendid. But this other business of your body—you are much too large, surely you must realize that. It won’t work, you have already seen that it won’t. I’m sorry, but there it is.”
“You’re a ninny who doesn’t know anything.” He kissed her nose, then squeezed her more tightly against him. “I should prefer it if you removed that ridiculous nightgown.”
“No,” she said after several thoughtful moments. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He sighed. “You’re probably right.”
“Colin?”
“Hmmm?”
“Will you bed other women when you return to Edinburgh?”
He was utterly silent. “Do you believe I took a mistress while my first wife was alive?”
“Certainly not!”
“Well then, why would you believe I would sleep with another woman whilst wedded to you?”
“Men do, I know, except for my brothers. They’re faithful to their wives because they love them very much. I hope you are more like them than all those other men who have no honor. On the other hand, you don’t love me. So it is a question.”
“Will you seduce any men while I’m gone?”
She hit him in the belly, and he obligingly grunted. Then her hand smoothed over where she’d hit him, her fingers splaying downward to touch him, and then he did moan. “No,” he said, his breath hard and deep. “Don’t, please.”
She drew her hand away, and he was both relieved and hated it.
“Why did your aunt Arleth say you’d taken a mistress while your wife was still alive?”
He didn’t answer her but said instead, “She doesn’t much care for me, as you will discover, since you’re my wife and you now live here. I don’t know why.”
“One could believe her, you know,” she said, “except it’s obvious she doesn’t know how you’re made. I know how large you are, I know how a woman would look at you and want to run. That is, you’re beautiful, Colin, but as I told you, that part of you that—”
“It’s called my sex, Joan.”
“Very well, your sex, Colin. What woman could possibly want to do that willingly? It would have to be your wife and thus she’d have to do it.”
He laughed, he couldn’t help it. “You will see. Yes, you will see.”
“Are other men even larger than you?”
“How do I even attempt to answer that question? I’ll sound like a conceited sod if I say no, certainly not, and I’d bludgeon my own male pride if I said yes. I haven’t seen all that many naked men, actually, particularly when they’re aroused. Nonetheless, you don’t know anything about it. You will learn, however. Now, go to sleep.”