I stumbled back into the divider, rattling the hollow walls, Hanna’s sobs shaking through me like an earthquake. No. No, no, no.
“It should have been me. It should have been me,” Hanna repeated.
I covered my mouth with a trembling hand, holding back the bile burning up my throat. Hanna’s frail body shook and I forced myself to get it together. She’d been through God knows what for four months and it was over. She didn’t need the storm of emotions trying to drown me. She needed her brother like she’d needed me on vacation. Swallowing it all down, I stood on shaking legs and went back to the bed, being the rock.
“Hanna, it’s time to go home.”
“No,” she shrieked. “I don’t want to go home without her. I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t without her.”
“Hanna,” I choked out. “I’m taking you both home. You’re both coming home.”
“She’d died the night before and no one had taken the time to move her. I’d been so close.” I slammed my fist down. “Twenty-four hours and I could have made it.”
Alexandra’s chair scraped against the hardwood and she moved around the island, not hesitating to wrap her arms around me. I shouldn’t let her, I should push her back. But for the first time in years, I talked about my worst nightmare and I just needed the comfort.
I wrapped my arms around her and let her warmth and strength fuel my own. “I promised from that moment I would do anything to help any way I could. I figured I’d use the skills I’d acquired over the months and put them to use. Once I saved the first few women, I needed to help them get back on their feet. And Haven was born.”
She held me a moment longer, stroking her hands up my back. When my body stopped vibrating with memories she pulled back, leaving her arms at my waist. “You’re an amazing man, Erik Brandt.”
“Hardly,” I murmured.
Her eyes, still shining with the remnants of her tears, lightened and one side of her mouth quirked up. “I mean, you’re kind of an asshole, but a good one.”
Her words lightened the mood and helped pull us out of the past. I stared down at the girl in my arms and something cracked.
“I should get to bed,” she said, stepping out of my arms. “It’s a big day tomorrow and I’m excited to be a part of it.”
“Thanks for coming.”
“I hardly had a choice.” She winked to let me know she was joking. “I’m glad I am though.”
“Me too. Get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight, Erik.”
“Goodnight, Alexandra.”
19
Alexandra
The day moved in a blur. I’d woken up to Erik banging on my door. He’d greeted me with a coffee, a breakfast sandwich, and an order to haul ass because I had appointments to make. I’d thrown on some clothes and was whisked away to a salon. I guess I was lucky since he at least stopped the car for me rather than ordering me to tuck and roll.
I’d been plucked and tugged and polished everywhere. Who needed their legs waxed when the dress was floor length? I’d backed up and almost grabbed a brush to fight off the woman who suggested a Brazilian wax. Erik had probably put her up to it.
Asshole.
Except maybe he wasn’t such an asshole. Last night had been fun. We’d been more at ease on the way home. I should have been livid after walking in on him getting his dick sucked, and it still pinched my chest each time the image flashed behind my eyes. But then I remembered that I had accepted who he was, closed off any hopes of more and the pinch eased. At least I pretended it did.
When I looked like a whole new woman, I messaged Erik and he’d told me a car was waiting for me outside to take me home and he’d meet me back home at six-thirty to pick me up.
But six-thirty had come and gone twenty minutes ago and I was pacing, my mind running a million miles a minute.
He decided to leave me at home. He was embarrassed by me. He didn’t want to be seen with me. He had taken another woman. This was all just another scheme to show me how little he cared. It was another scheme to hurt me.
It didn’t matter how irrational the thoughts were, they were there, and they hurt me. They poked holes in my denial about being realistic about him, exposing how much I cared.
Just as tears burned my eyes and I feared my makeup would be ruined, there was a knock at the door. I froze, unsure who it could be since Erik wouldn’t knock on his own door. Stepping softly, I looked through the peephole to find a blond-haired man I didn’t know.