“And what of you, Kassia? Do you not have need of new gowns and the like?”
She raised wide, questioning eyes to his face. “Do you mean that you wish me to accompany you?”
He felt a brief wrenching pain at the pitiful stirring of hope he saw in her eyes. “Of course you will come with me,” he said curtly. “Who else would see to my comfort?”
Any of the female servants, she wanted to yell at him, but her excitement at traveling to London quickly overcame her ire at his words. “I will really meet King Edward and Queen Eleanor?”
“Aye, you will meet them. And you do have need of some new gowns, Kassia. Unfortunately, the duke, as usual, gives us little time to prepare.”
“I will do it,” Kassia said. “Whatever needs to be done will be done.”
Graelam fiddled with his wine goblet for a moment, frowning at himself even as he spoke. “There is a bolt of gold-threaded silk in my trunk. You will sew yourself a gown from it.”
Her jaw dropped in surprise, and she blinked at him.
“ ‘Tis a pity you gave the necklace away, for you could have worn it with the silk.”
He saw the light go out of her eyes as if he had struck her. St. Peter’s bones, he thought furiously, why should he feel guilty? She was the one who had played him false. She was the one who persisted in her lies.
“Nan!” he called. “More wine!”
Kassia sat very quietly. In her excitement, she had forgotten momentarily how much he disliked and distrusted her. But of course he would not forget. He would never forget.
She lay curved into a small ball some hours later, the raucous laughter from the hall below softening in her dream. A man’s voice spoke, saying very softly, “ ’Tis time to see if my little wench can breed.” She sighed and turned onto her back. Suddenly she could hear the man’s breathing. She blinked and abruptly came awake.
“Hold still,” Graelam said, his hands on the belt of her bedrobe.
He was drunk, she thought frantically. “Please, Graelam,” she whispered, pressing her hands against his bare chest.
“Hold still,” he repeated. He jerked up her bedrobe, giving up on the knot at her waist, and fell on top of her. He grasped her head between his hands and kissed her, his tongue thrusting deep into her mouth. Kassia felt his swollen manhood against her thighs. She knew she couldn’t fight him, and lay perfectly still.
He raised his head until he could focus on her face in the dim light. Her eyes were tightly closed. “Damn you,” he said softly. He felt her quiver beneath him, and smiled bitterly. “I will make you respond,” he muttered. He mustered his waning control and eased himself off her.
Her eyes flew open, and she drew a shattered breath at his harsh face above her, his mouth set in a grim line.
“You want me to force you,” he said. “Then you can hate me all the more.”
“I don’t hate you.”
He lightly stroked his hand over her throat. “Take off the bedrobe, Kassia.”
He controls me, she thought. He will do just as he pleases with me, despite my wishes. A flicker of rebellion rose within her. “You tell me I am a child, that I do not have a woman’s feelings. Why do you bother? Why do you not return to your mistress? Does it please you to hurt me? If so, then just get it over with!”
Graelam felt the haze of drunkenness gripping his mind, but he was sober enough to make sense of her tumbled words. He realized vaguely that he was likely too drunk to make her respond to him, and that now her mind was locked against him. He rolled off her and rose. “Very well,” he said, reaching for his be
drobe. Oddly enough, he felt no anger at her for spurning him. “If I return during the night, you need have no fear of me.” He turned on his heel and strode from the bedchamber.
22
Kassia turned away from the cooking shed, mulling over again the words she had overheard Sir Walter say to Guy just before Guy and Blanche had left Wolffeton. “It is a pity that I do not have a father to die and pass me his estates.” Guy, who was distracted, had said only, “Aye, ’tis unfortunate.”
“But there are other ways,” Sir Walter had continued after a moment. “Soon, I believe, I will not longer be landless. I will gain what should have always belonged to me.”
Kassia shivered now, remembering how coldly and emotionlessly he had spoken, though, objectively, they could simply reflect Sir Walter’s ambition. She wished she could tell Graelam of her feelings, but she guessed he would simply look at her like she was a stupid woman and dismiss her out of hand. She paused a moment, gazing at Drake, the armorer, at his work. She missed Guy. Her brow puckered as she recalled his words at his leave-taking. “Now, my lady,” he had said, lightly touching her cheek, “the way is clear for you to live at Wolffeton happily and safely.” Her eyes flew to his face, but he had shaken his head at her, smiling. “Blanche is a handful, never doubt it, Kassia, but she will please me. You may be certain of that!”
Kassia was not so certain that would be the case. Although there seemed to be a new softness about Blanche, she nonetheless stared through Kassia, ignoring her completely when they took their leave of Wolffeton.
Kassia paused a moment, hearing her husband’s forceful voice from the practice field. He had not returned to their bed that night nearly a week before, and since then he had slept with her every night without attempting to touch her. She imagined that after taking his man’s pleasure with Nan, he wanted the comfort of his own bed. She wanted to shrug, but could not manage to do it.