“A close thing,” he said.
She managed to open one eye and look up at him. She looked suddenly very thoughtful. “You’re still inside me.”
“You really didn’t have to say that, Susannah.” He moaned, unable to prevent himself from jerking forward, deep and high, touching her womb again.
To his delight, her hips rose just a bit, but then she seemed to collapse in on herself. “It is too much. I am willing, but my body is beyond my control. My body is wafting away like an autumn leaf in a crisp breeze.”
“That’s a terrible analogy.”
“It was at least an effort to describe the state of my female corporeal self. Surely it wasn’t all that bad. I can’t believe your powers of judgment are worth much at the moment. But I am willing to admit something, Rohan. Men are stronger. Just look at you, above me, holding up your own weight so you won’t crush me. If I were the one on top, I would be plastered flat against you.”
He thought it took a lot of energy to talk. She was doing a lot of it. He pressed inward again. She moaned, then raised herself slightly to tighten her arms around his back, bringing him down on her.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said against her mouth, feeling all of her. Oh, God, it was wonderful.
“You’re not hurting me, at least not yet. The mattress is very giving.”
“That’s probably why Phillip gave us this bedchamber. He saw that I was looking at you like a hungry wolf and he thought of how we would fit quite nicely together in this lovely bed. Kiss me again. I can take no more. I know it’s over for me. I want to cock up my toes with your mouth against mine.”
“How can you string all those words together?” But he kissed her, deeply. He didn’t believe it, but energy was flowing back into his body—all of his body. Was he a pig? Was she really on the edge of oblivion? She certainly seemed boneless beneath him. Then he began pushing more deeply inside her.
“Rohan?”
“Hmmm?”
“I didn’t realize it until just this moment.”
“Realize what?” He had a rhythm now, and it was slow and deep and easy, not too difficult for him to sustain.
“That I love you.”
“You what?”
“I know we haven’t known each other for much longer than a month. Do you think it’s possible I could come to love you so quickly or do you think it’s lust and I am deceiving myself?”
She loved him? By God, he could now sustain the earth on his shoulders, just like Atlas. She loved him? He slowed, shaking his head even as he stared down into her face. Her eyes were closed. No, it was lust, plain delicious lust. This sort of deception wasn’t at all a bad thing. But say it wasn’t just lust, but more. To be loved by Susannah, that was something else . . . he found a burst of new energy.
“Come to me again, Susannah,” he said against her mouth, taking in her small cry of surprise and pleasure as he moved over
her, easing his hand between their bodies to find her.
This time he knew it was all over for him. In just a moment from now he would be no longer of this earth. He would be spiritual matter. He would have to hover over her in the blankness of air and admire her as would a phantom.
If he had to become a spirit, it had been worth it. It meant he would have given his all to his wife.
He was so sweaty he knew he would slip off her. Bless her delicious female self, she was just as sweaty as he was.
“Susannah?”
No answer, just a feeble movement of two fingers of her left hand that was still resting on his shoulder.
“Aren’t you ready to recite me a Shakespeare play? You were doing so well after our first time. You spoke fluently, with verve. What’s the matter?”
No answer, just a small pinch of two fingers of her left hand that was still resting on his shoulder.
“Lust is a very nice thing,” he said, “a very nice thing. Do you really think it’s possible that you love me, that you’re not deceiving yourself because I am such an extraordinary lover? I remember you did tell me I had beautiful eyes. Did you mean it?” He thought his heart would certainly explode if he kept using all his energy to form words and get them out of his mouth. Did she really love him?
She leaned up on her elbows, her eyes still closed, and bit his shoulder.