‘Hang out’ was the equivalent of Netflix and chill. He wanted to know if I wanted to get together to fuck, and after thinking about my morning, sex sounded good.
“Sure.” I pretended to ignore Oaklyn’s scoff.
“Awesome. Let’s do seven-thirty. The guys will be gone tonight, so no one will hear you.”
He leaned in and placed a quick peck to my cheek, and I fought to not pull away. I didn’t like PDA from Aaron. He wasn’t my boyfriend—at least not anymore. He served his purpose, and it wasn’t to paw me in public. Once upon a time, he’d been my main priority. I’d made sure I looked good for him. I’d made sure I was available for him. I’d made sure I bought the best lingerie for him.
Then he shattered the affection I’d poured into him, sucking my happiness right along with it. I’d been…depressed, and Olivia Witt did not do depression over boys. So, I’d picked myself back up, promised to never fall again, and used him for all he was worth. Of course, for my pleasure alone. I had control. I had a say of how it went and how it ended.
My phone buzzed on the table, and I swiped to find a message from my mom.
Mom: You should come by dinner tonight. Uncle Daniel is bringing a business associate, Alexander. He’s an older gentleman who’s been working in hotels for a while. He may be a great person to talk about your project to.
My mind conjured an image of an old man, clinging to his business to hold off retirement. His hotels were probably the Holiday Inn, and that sounded about as appealing as the clock and jewelry owner.
I quickly texted her back, letting her know I had plans tonight. I could imagine her pinched lips and disappointment. I just didn’t want to deal with my parents asking me about my plans—my future. I was a junior and had plenty of time to figure it out. Not that they cared beyond what they could brag about to their friends. I would miss Uncle Daniel though. I’d just have to make a point to schedule a lunch this week to make up for it.
“Shit,” Aaron said, looking around his plate. “Forgot my silverware. Be right back, babe.”
As soon as he left, Oaklyn leaned across the table and asked, “Why?”
“Why what?” I stuffed a bite of meatball in my mouth and played dumb.
“Why do you still hang out with him. He cheated on you. He doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you, let alone have sex with you.”
I stared down at my fork twirling noodles on the plate. Aaron had cheated on me. I’d had the pleasure of catching him with his head buried between some girl’s thighs in the library. But that was almost two years ago, and I was an island now—unable to be hurt. Having Aaron as my fuck-toy removed any chance of some loser weaseling his way in.
“It’s better to sleep with the devil you know rather than one you don’t.”
“Olivia…”
There was that warning tone in her voice. The one that said she was about to give me a monologue about how I was doing a disservice to myself by settling. I held up my hand before she could start. “I just turned down dinner with my mom, so I didn’t have to hear it from her. I really don’t want to hear from you either.”
Her shoulders heaved up and down with her sigh. “I just worry about you.”
“Why? I have everything I want. More than I need. What’s there to worry about?”
“You shut yourself off from possibility. It’s like each year you try less and less. I don’t get it.”
“I’m not shutting myself off. I’ll tell you the same thing I tell them. I have my whole life to be busy—to work. Why pile everything on in college when I should be having fun? Why be so serious?”
“But you’re not having fun. You’re just sitting there waiting for something to happen to you, and you’re wasting time by not trying.”
“No, I’d be wasting my time if I tried, and it didn’t work out. I want it to be worth the effort—to feel something for what I’m giving my time to.”
“You give your time to Aaron and don’t feel anything for him.”
“That’s a lie. I feel quite a lot when I’m with him. A lot of pleasure.” She didn’t find my humor funny when I waggled my brows. “Listen, I’m not just sitting here not doing anything. I know I’m not part of any clubs or signed up for any internships to test out the business, but it’s not wrong to wait for something that you enjoy. I have a whole other year left of college to figure it out, and I’m bound to find something that sparks my interest. Until then, I have plenty of things that are fun. Design. Shopping. Hanging out with you.”