‘It was obvious. Our relationship was fine when we were here.’ She waved a hand. ‘Sort of like a holiday romance. But when it came to living your life, well, that’s when the cracks appeared. And I panicked. I tried every outfit, every style—but I could see I was different to every other woman you’d ever been with. Every time we went out was torture. Everyone looked at me, judged me.’
Leandro swore under his breath. ‘They didn’t.’
‘They did. People do it all the time. You don’t notice because you don’t care what people think of you.’ Millie sneaked a glance at him. ‘And you’re not very tolerant of weakness in others. I remember one evening I begged you not to leave me with that group of women and you just frowned and told me I’d be fine. There was some government dignitary you had to speak to so you just threw me to the wolves and let them devour me.’
He winced. ‘Millie—’
‘It’s all right, you don’t have to say anything. The truth is you shouldn’t have had to hold my hand at events like that. I was pathetic, I realise that, but every time we went out I was hit with another ten reasons why you shouldn’t have married me and I was shocked by how nasty people were.’
‘Why didn’t you talk to me?’
‘You were too absorbed in your work to notice what was going on. And you were already starting to get irritated with me. Your favourite trick was to glance at your watch and narrow your eyes when I was fumbling about, getting dressed. So I started getting ready earlier and earlier until in the end it took me most of the day. And then I’d appear and you’d be pacing the room like a caged tiger plotting his way out of captivity.’
‘Waiting isn’t my forte.’
‘I noticed that. But from my point of view the fact that you were so irritated made the whole thing even more stressful. I would have spent most of the day getting ready and you’d look at me in disbelief as if you couldn’t quite believe that was what I’d chosen to wear and then you’d usher me out to the car.’
‘That is not what I would have been thinking,’ Leandro muttered. ‘I was probably thinking how much you’d changed. When first I met you, you didn’t do any of those things. You were straightforward and lacking in vanity.’
‘I’m sorry! That’s because I had never been to a charity ball in my life! The highlight of my social calendar was the village fete.’
He raked his hands through his hair and gave a groan of frustration. ‘That was a compliment, Millie! Don’t you ever hear a compliment?’
Stunned by the force of his tone, she looked at him in confusion. ‘But you said—I thought—I thought lacking in vanity meant that I didn’t spend hours on myself.’
‘Yes, but you didn’t need to spend hours on yourself. I liked you the way you were. I liked you the way you were that day I first met you.’
‘I was working on the farm! You arrived, designer dressed from head to toe, to talk business and I was wearing a pair of torn, ancient shorts and a T-shirt that had belonged to my dad but had shrunk in the wash.’
‘I don’t remember the shorts,’ Leandro growled, ‘but I do remember your legs. And your smile. And how sweet you were crawling over that haystack, risking life and limb to rescue those kittens that were trapped. I remember thinking, I want her in my bed. I want her looking after our babies. And I remember deciding at that moment that I wanted to wake up every morning looking at that smile. Why do you think I stayed two days? It was supposed to be a two-hour meeting.’
‘You invested in my dad’s business.’
Leandro gave a wry smile. ‘I’m going to be honest here, agape mou, and confess that your dad’s business is the only investment I’ve ever made that has lost me money.’
Millie gave an astonished laugh. ‘You made a mistake?’
‘No. I knew it was going to be a disaster the minute he showed me the numbers. I wasn’t investing in the business. I was investing in you.’
She thought of the changes her dad had made to the farm. How excited he’d been by his new venture.
‘Oh. It was kind of you to do that for Dad.’ For a moment she was too flustered to respond, then she frowned slightly. ‘But it doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t stop to think how I’d cope with it all, did you?’
Leandro took her hand again. ‘I assumed you’d love the lifestyle. I knew your parents were struggling with the farm and you were working inhuman hours for a pittance.’
‘But I didn’t marry you for your money or the lifestyle,’ she said in a small voice. ‘I married you for you. And you were always away being the big tycoon. And when we went out, there were always millions of people around us and I couldn’t relax because there were cameras stuck in my face and everyone wanted to criticise me. Yes, I was lacking in vanity, but someone like that can’t survive in your world. I hadn’t realised just how much was involved in being a billionaire’s wife. And those awful celebrity magazines tore me to pieces. At the beginning they said I was fat—or “full figured” was the exact phrase—And then I was in this column about fashion mistakes. Don’t even start me on that one.’
‘Why did you read them?’ ’
‘I thought it might help me work out what was expected of me. I wanted to look like the perfect wife.’ She bit her lip. ‘I wanted you to be proud of me. I didn’t want you to sit there at a charity event thinking, Why did I marry her?
‘I never thought that.’
‘Didn’t you?’ Her smile was wan. ‘I don’t know. I just know that it got worse and worse. Until I no longer had the confidence to undress in front of you—until I couldn’t bear the thought of having sex with you because I imagined that you must be thinking, Yuck, all the time. I just felt so self-conscious.’
‘Theos mou.’ His tone raw with emotion, Leandro rose to his feet and stood facing the pool, the muscles of his powerful shoulders flexing as he struggled for control. ‘And I didn’t see any of this. Never before have I considered myself to be stupid and yet obviously I am.’
‘No. You just move in different circles to me. You take it all for granted. The women you dated before know how to do their hair, what to wear, how to talk, what to eat, how much they’re supposed to weigh.’