Leandro stood there, a powerful figure silhouetted against the light of the bedroom. ‘Every time you lock a door between us I’ll break it down,’ he vowed thickly, ‘and every time you run I will find you.’ With a soft curse, he flipped on the light and then sucked in a breath as it illuminated her ravaged features. His eyes fixed on her blotched, tear-stained face and his jaw tightened.
‘Millie? What the hell is going on?’ His voice was hoarse and he spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness. ‘Why are you crying? Maledizione, I never wanted to upset you like this. Stop it, agape mou. Nothing is this bad.’
‘Just leave me alone,’ she choked, hugging her knees against her chest and burying her face in her arms. ‘Please, leave me alone. Go and ring your actress.’ She heard him swear under his breath.
‘There is blood on your arm. You must have scraped it when you bumped into the doorframe. Let me look at it—’
‘Go away!’
For a moment she thought he’d acceded to her request but then she heard the solid tread of his footsteps and he squatted down beside her, strong and calm, a man able to cope with any problem that came his way.
‘You’re going to make yourself ill. Enough.’ Leandro slid his hands under her arms and lifted her to her feet and she looked up at him through eyes swollen with crying.
‘Yes, it is enough.’ Somehow she managed to get the words out. ‘Enough pretending that our relationship can ever work. Enough pretending we can have any sort of marriage. It’s over, Leandro. It’s over.’
‘You are extremely upset,’ he breathed, holding her firmly so that she couldn’t slide to the floor again, ‘and it is never a good idea to make decisions when you’re upset.’
‘My decision is going to be the same whenever I make it. I mean it, it’s over.’ Her voice rose and he cupped her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him.
‘Millie, I want you to take a deep breath.’ His masculine voice was surprisingly gentle. ‘Deep. That’s right, and again. And now you are going to listen to me, yes? And you are going to trust me. Whatever is wrong—whatever has upset you this much—you will tell me and I will fix it. But for now I just want you to try and calm down.’
His unexpected kindness somehow made everything worse. ‘Why won’t you just leave me?’
‘Because that option doesn’t work for me,’ he said grimly. ‘I already told you, this time you are not walking away from our problems.’ He drew her into his arms, but she shook him off and took a step backwards.
‘Don’t touch me. I can’t bear you to touch me.’ She heard the sharp intake of his breath and knew that her apparent rejection had hurt him.
‘So you don’t trust me.’
‘This isn’t about trust. This isn’t about what happened with my sister. And it can’t be fixed. Just—just—wait—and you’ll see.’ Her hands were shaking so much she couldn’t untie the knot of silk holding together the edges of her robe and she almost screamed with frustration. Eventually the fabric loosened in her fingers and she bit her lip, trying to find the courage to do what she had to do. ‘I don’t know why you wanted me the first time, Leandro. You say I’m beautiful and—well, I never was. And even less so now.’
‘I’m the best judge of that.’
‘All right. Then judge.’ Without giving herself any more time to think about it and change her mind, she allowed the dressing-gown to slip from her shoulders.
Naked, she faced him. Unprotected, she let him see. Vulnerable, she stayed silent and let him judge—and saw his handsome face reflect everything she herself had felt over the past year.
Shock, disbelief, distaste.
The emotions were all there.
‘Now do you understand why I said this would never work? I wasn’t beautiful enough for you before. How could I possibly be beautiful enough now?’ Somehow the reality of exposing her damaged flesh was less traumatic than the thought of it had been. Now that she’d done it, she felt nothing but relief.
No more pretending.
He’d divorce her and she’d get on with her life. And it may not have been the life she’d dreamed off, but it would be all right. She’d make sure it was all right. She’d get over him, wouldn’t she? It had only ever been a stupid dream.
Quietly sliding the robe back onto her shoulders, Millie cast one final look at his shocked face, reflecting on the fact she’d never actually seen him lost for words before.
‘I’m sorry,’ she muttered wearily. ‘I’m sorry to do that to you—in that way. Perhaps it was cruel of me, but I honestly didn’t…’ Her pause was met with silence. ‘I—just didn’t know any other way.’ Impulsively she lifted her hand to touch his arm and then realised that the best thing she could do for him was to just get out of his life.
Letting her hand drop, she walked past him towards the door feeling tired and completely drained of energy.
‘God damn it, Millie, if you walk out on me one more time I won’t be responsible for my actions.’ His voice rasped across her sensitised nerve endings. ‘You stay right there. I just need to—’ He broke off and ran a hand over his face, clearly struggling with his emotions. ‘Just give me a minute.’
She stopped walking. ‘It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to work out what you’re supposed to say or do. Nothing you say is going to make any difference.’
‘Just wait.’ Leandro pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose and exhaled slowly. ‘Maledezione, you have no idea…’