“I don’t remember. Early on. She was older than me so I didn’t see that much of her, but she used to wait for me after school. Once, she trapped me in the locker room to stop me meeting you. Eventually, a teacher came.”
“They caught Janet?”
“No. She told them the lock had broken, and she was trying to rescue me. By then I was so late I thought you would have left, but you hadn’t. You were still there. You teased me about staying late studying.”
His arms tightened. “You should have told me.”
“You would have said something to her, and that would have made it worse for me.”
“I remember that day you came out of school with bruises.” His voice was low. “How often did she hurt you?”
“Mostly it was psychological. She tried to undermine my confidence. I was Boring Brenna or Brenna the Boy because I didn’t have big boobs. She went out of her way to make sure I knew I wasn’t your type. ‘Flat chest and brown hair isn’t his thing. He’ll ski with you but he will never, ever, want to have sex with you.’ That’s what she said.”
“I will kill her.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “Tell me you knew she was wrong.”
“No, because I didn’t. Not for years. I carried those words around in my head, and they changed the way I related to you, and the way I felt about myself. For ages I assumed I wasn’t attractive at all. That no man would ever want to have sex with me.”
He inhaled deeply. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
“That I didn’t feel sexy? How was that conversation ever going to happen? We didn’t talk about stuff like that. To borrow Jess’s favorite expression, it would have been an avalanche of awkward. And to be honest, I liked the fact you treated me the same way as your brothers.”
“I had no idea you felt that way. You were always so confident.”
“On the slopes, yes. I was a good skier. I was good at a lot of things, but my confidence in myself was really low.”
“I thought you were a bit shy. I should have known. You were my closest friend, Bren—”
“Yes, but I was in love with you. And I couldn’t talk abou
t it because I believed it.” She heard him mutter something under his breath but carried on. “Maybe that’s why I’ve never been good at the one-night-stand thing. I don’t know. All I know is that it took me a while to get over that and realize that sexy means different things to different people.”
“You’re sexy, Bren.” Tyler lowered his mouth to hers. “Anytime you want me to prove how sexy you are, say the word.”
She lifted her hand to his face, exploring the rough texture of his jaw. “I think that’s why she had sex with you that time. To prove she could.”
“She came and found me. She knew where I’d be.” He held her gaze. “Is it too late to say I’m sorry?”
“It’s never too late, but in this case it’s not necessary. You didn’t owe me anything. You didn’t know what was happening. We were friends, that was all.” She leaned forward and kissed him. “What happens now? Where is Janet staying?”
“According to Jackson, a bed and breakfast in the village. And she’s on her own.”
“So she really did leave her husband and baby to come here simply because she heard I’d moved in with you?”
“Looks that way. I’d rather think she came here to see Jess.”
“Do you think she’ll come back?”
“I don’t know. I have to assume she will because she hasn’t seen Jess yet. I need to make sure I’m here when that happens. I feel as if I’m standing on top of a slope, knowing it’s about to avalanche. And I can’t do anything about it.” He pulled her closer. “One thing I’m sure about, though. I don’t want you to have to see Janet again.”
“That’s in the past.”
“I don’t think it’s in the past for Janet.”
The tiny lights on the Christmas tree sent a warm glow across the living room.
“Jess is the one we need to think about. Everything will settle down. This is difficult, but it will pass, and whatever happens with Janet, Jess knows she’s loved and that she has you and the rest of your family. We can’t let this spoil Christmas. If we do, then Janet wins.”
“I’ll take Jess to meet her on neutral ground.”