‘Well I must admit it wasn’t easy,’ Brooke said, her eyes softened by memories. ‘Anyway, I carried on feeding him myself for a year, although it took quite a bit of effort to express milk while I was working. Employers aren’t that enlightened about breast-feeding mothers.’
Jed was silent for a moment as he prodded a piece of cheese with his knife. ‘And what about men?’ His voice was gruff. ‘Did you have relationships?’
There was a long silence and her heart thudded in her chest. The truth was that she’d loved Jed too much to even contemplate a relationship with another man, but there was no way she wanted him knowing that.
‘A few,’ she said vaguely, careful not to look at him. He’d already told her that she was a hopeless liar so she’d better change the subject quickly.
When he spoke his voice sounded o
ddly strained. ‘So having Toby didn’t ruin your love life, then?’
‘Toby didn’t ruin anything,’ she said honestly. ‘He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn’t change anything.’
There was a long silence as he stared at her. ‘Wouldn’t you, Brooke? I would.’ He lifted her chin with strong fingers and held her eyes with his. ‘If I could change one thing it would have been to have woken up before you sneaked away from me. I never would have let you go, Brooke.’
She swallowed. ‘And what good would that have done?’
‘Well, for a start I would have known that you were pregnant and I could have helped you.’
She shook her head. ‘And I would have refused your help.’
‘You wouldn’t have been given a choice,’ he growled, his eyes shooting flames, and her heart flipped over in her chest.
What would have happened if he had woken up? Would things have been different? Jed was a persistent man, there was no doubt about that. She’d known he was strong from the first moment they’d met, but not quite how strong. He certainly wouldn’t have let her go without a fight. So, what if they had pursued the incredible chemistry that had drawn them together? What if they had started a relationship before she’d found out she was pregnant? Her brief fantasy of a life with Jed was rudely interrupted by a vision of her father and she shook herself. Dreaming was pointless.
‘I would have just disappeared again.’ She gave him a wan smile. ‘Believe me, Jed, I’m just as stubborn as you.’
‘No, really?’ He teased her with gentle sarcasm, one long finger trailing down the curve of her cheek as he studied her face. ‘That’s probably why we strike sparks off each other.’
His deep voice teased her senses and ruffled every nerve ending in her body. She could feel the tension in him and knew he was fighting a wild urge to kiss her. And she wanted him to. Dear God, she wanted him to so badly, and yet what good would that do? Just provide more torture and more torment by reminding her of what she couldn’t have.
‘You said no touching, Jed.’ Her voice was barely audible and she heard him draw a jerky breath, his blue eyes clouded with indecision.
‘No touching—right.’ He closed his eyes briefly and then released her, raking long fingers through his hair and giving her a wry smile. ‘One of my more stupid ideas. OK, well, in that case you’d better talk a bit more. How on earth did you manage to carry on with your training?’
‘I was extremely lucky.’ Brooke watched as he strode across the room and took a slug of wine, his whole body rigid with tension. ‘I found a childminder who was like a mother to both of us, and in the end we moved in and lodged with her.’
‘And that was when you left home? After he was born?’
Brooke settled herself back down on the sofa and slipped off her shoes, curling her legs under her bottom. ‘I left home before that.’
‘Why?’
‘My father didn’t want me around once he knew I was pregnant. He was horrified by what the neighbours would think.’
The expression in his blue eyes was murderous. ‘If I ever meet your father…’
‘You won’t. We’re not in touch any more.’ She managed a smile, touched by his protectiveness. ‘And, anyway, it was a long time ago and I managed.’
‘How, I will never know,’ Jed said roughly, putting down his glass and staring into the fire. ‘It’s probably just as well I wasn’t around. If I had been I’d have killed your father. You’re an amazing woman, Brooke.’
‘Why?’ She gave him a surprised look. ‘Leaving home was hardly a hardship, if I’m honest. I was very happy with Molly—that was the childminder.’
‘So why did you leave London?’
‘Well, unfortunately Molly’s elderly mother needed looking after and she moved down to Devon to be with her.’ Brooke picked at a piece of cheese. ‘London was right out of my price range really and I hate cities, so I moved here.’
‘Part of your fantasy…’ Jed murmured, his blue eyes fixed on her face. ‘Mountains and countryside.’