‘Excited. Nervous. Being a mum is scary. Knowing that I’m completely responsible for her keeps me awake at night.’ Lucy carefully lifted the baby out of the pram. ‘Her eyes are a bit sticky, too. Logan gave me some gauze and told me to use that and boiled water to clean them.’
‘That sounds like a good strategy. Let’s go inside so that I can have a proper look at her.’
‘It’s so hot today, I’ve had all the doors and windows open because none of us can sleep at night. I’m really worried that the baby will overheat.’
‘Lay her on her back and keep the window open a crack,’ Evanna advised, carefully placing the baby on the couch and undoing the poppers on her vest. ‘Hello, you gorgeous thing. Can I look at your tummy?’ She spoke softly to the baby and Lucy sighed.
‘You’re so confident when you handle her. I wish I was like that. I’m all fingers and thumbs and I’m terrified that I’m going to drop her or do something wrong. I feel completely ignorant.’
Evanna’s eyes slid to the stack of baby books on the coffee-table and she suppressed a smile. ‘You’re not ignorant, Lucy,’ she murmured, turning the nappy down, ‘just naturally apprehensive. Mothers should be mothers.’
‘I keep ringing Logan,’ Lucy confessed. ‘Any day now he’s going to scream at me for bothering him with trivia.’
‘Logan’s never yelled at a worried patient in his life. Her cord looks fine, Lucy. Just keep cleaning it the way I showed you in hospital.’
‘It isn’t infected?’
‘No. But try to fold the nappy over so that it doesn’t rub.’
‘She’s so tiny the nappies swamp her.’
Evanna smiled and closed the poppers on the little vest. ‘She’ll soon grow. How’s the feeding going? Are you feeding her yourself?’
‘Yes. I really wanted to, you know that. It’s hurting quite a bit, though.’
‘Is she latching on properly?’
‘I suppose so. I don’t know really. We’re both amateurs.’ Lucy gave a helpless shrug. ‘She’s due a feed now. Could you watch and tell me if we’re doing it right?’
‘Of course. You make yourself comfortable and I’ll go and fetch you a drink of water. It’s important to drink plenty when you’re feeding, especially when the weather is as hot as it is today.’
Evanna walked through to the kitchen, fetched a glass of water and returned to the sitting room.
‘I’m trying to start on a different side each time, like you told me. Ouch.’ Lucy winced as the baby’s mouth closed over her nipple and Evanna put the glass down on the table and walked over to help.
‘She needs more of your breast in her mouth. What’s happening is that she’s just playing with your nipple, which is why you’re getting sore.’ Evanna gently repositioned the baby and watched closely as the little jaws clamped down again. ‘There. That’s better. Does that still hurt?’
‘No.’ Lucy gave a smile of relief. ‘Will you move in with me? I need you here for every feed.’
‘You’re doing brilliantly. In a few weeks’ time this will feel like second nature. Is she doing plenty of wet and dirty nappies?’
‘Oh, yes.’
‘And are you bleeding much now?’
Lucy shook her head. ‘Just spots, you know? Nothing dramatic.’
‘Good. We’ll just let her finish feeding and then I’ll examine you. I want to feel the height of your uterus just to check that it’s contracting properly.’
Evanna stayed another hour, answered a non-stop stream of questions from Lucy, satisfied herself that all was well and then finally made her way back to her cottage.
It was hard not to feel envious of Lucy’s happiness. Would it ever be her? Would she ever be settled with a man that loved her and a baby of her own?
Reminding herself that she had a great deal to be thankful for, she let herself into her cottage and walked through to her kitchen to make herself supper.
‘That one’s perfect.’ Kyla stood back with her eyes narrowed and Evanna sighed.
‘It’s too short.’ And too expensive.