‘Evanna?’ He swung his legs out of the hammock and stood up, seeing immediately how nervous she was.
Her hands were clasped in front of her, she was wearing a simple white shirt with a linen skirt and her dark hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her eyes were shy and there was more than the usual amount of colour in her cheeks.
Her smile faltered, as if she wasn’t entirely confident of her reception. ‘You were gone when I woke up and I thought we ought to talk.’
She really was nervous and he frowned. ‘Evanna—’
‘No, wait.’ She lifted a hand to cut him off, her smile slightly shaky. ‘There are things I have to say and I won’t be able to say them if you interrupt. I know you must be worrying about what to say but you really don’t need to. Last night was very special to me.’ She stumbled over the words and he found himself wondering yet again how he could have taken so long to discover just how much he loved Evanna. She was gorgeous. Incredible.
‘It was special to me, too.’ He held out a hand but she took a step backwards and gave a little shake of her head, as if to warn him off.
‘Don’t touch me. Not for a minute. I have to say this and I won’t be able to if you touch me.’
With a dark sense of foreboding Logan let his hand drop to his side. ‘Have to say what? What is it you have to say, Evanna?’ Why wouldn’t she let him touch her when they’d spent almost all of last night touching? Intimately.
‘Last night was a really big step for you. Something you needed to do. And I’m pleased that you chose me.’ She stumbled slightly over the words. ‘Really pleased that you turned to me. After everything that’s happened—it was a really big thing for you. Important. I understand that. A big step in the recovery process. And that’s fine.’
He frowned. Recovery process? What was she talking about? She was making an incredible, mind-blowing night of passion sound like some sort of therapy. ‘Evanna—’
‘We’ve been friends a long time, Logan. A very long time.’
And he didn’t want to be friends any longer. He wanted so much more than that. And he’d assumed that she did, too. ‘I’m glad you came because I wanted to talk to you. There are things I need to say, too.’
‘You don’t need to say th
em, Logan,’ she said quickly, her eyes sliding from his. ‘We both know how things are. One steamy night isn’t going to ruin our friendship. Nothing is going to change. Our friendship is precious and nothing is going to damage that. So we’re just going to forget it.’
‘Forget it?’ He stared at her, stunned by just how sick her words made him feel. He wanted things to change. He wanted everything to change. He wanted them to be together. And he certainly didn’t want to forget it. ‘You want to forget it?’ Her fingers were clasped in front of her and he saw that her knuckles were white.
‘Of course. I think we should both see it as what it was. An interlude. Hopefully now you’ll be able to start going out more. And eventually you’ll find someone that you can share you life with.’
So she didn’t care for him.
All that giving—all that loving—it had been about therapy, Logan thought dully, feeling as though someone had hollowed him out with a sharp knife.
She hadn’t slept with him because she loved him but because she cared about his rehabilitation. She felt sorry for him and wanted to help him get over Catherine. What they’d shared had been a sacrifice on her part.
Not love.
Somehow he made his lips move. ‘So, that’s it, then?’
‘Of course. We should just forget it ever happened and you should get out there and start seeing other women. No guilt. No regrets. You know it’s what Catherine would have wanted. Life is so fragile, Logan, you should snatch happiness whenever it presents itself.’
He had.
Last night.
‘Yes.’ He watched as his fresh chance at happiness melted away in front of him. ‘Evanna—’
‘I really have to go.’ She backed away and waved a hand. ‘I just didn’t want you to feel awkward or embarrassed or anything—I wanted you to know that everything’s fine. Fine. No problems.’
She was babbling again, the way she always did when she was nervous, and Logan wanted to drag her into his arms and tell her to stop talking and just kiss him the way she’d kissed him the night before.
But before he could move she turned and walked quickly towards the gate, leaving him staring after her.
Now what?
Now what was he supposed to do?