They spoke of her almost daily, which only increased his pain. Stacey had made such a strong impression on them in such a short time. To make matters worse, he was grumbling at the girls. He was muddling through life and doing a very poor job of even that. The happiness he’d been so surprised to have was gone now. He hadn’t been able to hang on to it. Having so briefly tasted it, the loss of it was almost too much for him to bear.
He went through the motions of working. Most of his medical care was done by rote. Nothing interested him. Each patient had become a case instead of a person. The fact that he was doing it all on little or no sleep didn’t make matters any better.
The nurses already on staff were taking turns filling Stacey’s position. They were efficient enough but there was no real rapport between them and him. He missed Stacey’s humor, the way she anticipated his next move or need. Heck, he missed her in his professional life almost as much as he did in his private one. She had managed to permeate every corner of his world. He’d been caught up in the tsunami that was Stacey and it was now tossing him around.
Two weeks after Stacey had left he passed the day care as Alex exited.
“Hey, buddy, you got a minute to talk?” Alex asked, putting a hand on Cody’s shoulder.
“Uh...sure.” Cody wasn’t fit company for anyone. “Is there a problem?”
“I think so, but you’ll have to confirm it.”
That was a cryptic remark for the usually straightforward Alex. “Is something up with a patient?” Cody couldn’t think of who it might be.
“Let’s go to my office.” They entered and Alex said, “Close the door.”
Cody did so then slumped into a chair in front of Alex’s desk. “What’s going on?”
Alex continued around the desk to sit behind it. “That’s just what I was going to ask you.”
“What do you mean?” Had Alex noticed what a mess his life had become now that Stacey was gone?
“Come on, Cody, you’re talking to me. Neither one of us has any dirty laundry that the other doesn’t already know about. Something’s eating at you. You’ve not been yourself since Stacey left.” Cody started to deny it but Alex raised his hand. “Don’t say there wasn’t something between you because this is a small island and an even smaller clinic.”
“Great. I thought I was covering better than that,” Cody muttered.
“Sorry to disappoint you, buddy. So what happened?”
A big fat fight. Too much said. Too little said. Not the right things said. Cody shrugged. “Nothing. It was time for her to leave and she did.”
“Did you want her to stay?” Alex watched him closely.
Cody hated to admit how much. “Sure I did. I offered her Marsha’s job but she said no.”
Alex nodded his head a few times and pursed his lips. “You offered her a job. I see.”
Sitting a little straighter, Cody asked, “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, if I have learned anything from Maggie it’s that a woman wants more than just a job offer from her man. Did you tell her you loved her?”
He hadn’t even dared to think in that vein. If he did he might fall down the hole of despair and never come back out again. It took him a few seconds to answer. “No.”
“You do, though, don’t you?”
There he was on the edge of the hole. Did he? Yeah, he did. Why had it taken this conversation to make him admit it to himself? Because it was the first time he’d ever really loved a woman enough that he couldn’t live without her. He’d never felt that way before.
“I know what it’s like to start again. The fear of opening your heart again. It’s scary but you need to know, from what I learned about Stacey she has a huge heart and she’s nothing like Rachael. From what I saw she was a better mother to Jean and Lizzy in just a few weeks than their biological mother was, can be or ever will be. That said, I need you in top working order around here.”
Cody squared his shoulders. “Are you questioning my ability to do my job?”
“Never. I’m questioning whether or not you can survive if you continue like this.” Alex leaned forward. “Right now, I don’t think you’re functioning well enough to make sound medical decisions.” He frowned briefly and then continued. “Maggie and I had a hard trail to walk and we came out on the other side. I think you will too. Have you thought about going after Stacey? Telling her how you feel? Maybe offering her a ring instead of a job?”
“She’s in Ethiopia,” Cody said flatly.
Alex leaned toward him, pinning him with a look. “You fly, don’t you? If you don’t do something soon, I’m going to have to buy you out of the clinic because your sad face is starting to affect the morale around here. All I’m saying is think about it.”